Category: depression

Sunday Blog 28112021

Happy Hannukah to those that celebrate! Wishing you eight days of peace and happiness.

I am not having a good day. My sister called me an asshole today because I basically cath. The last few times I have voided have been a disaster cath wise as the urge to pee overwhelms the cathing and urine goes everywhere. I tried to clean it up but obviously missed a spot for Mrs. Clean. This UTI that I have is torture. I am peeing like every half hour and shitting with each piss so my ass is quite sore. I forgot to take the urinary pain pills this morning with my meds. I have peed myself twice today. I wish the pills would kick in already. It hurts so much to go. I am canceling my appointment with the dentist tomorrow if I am still like this. No way I can sit through getting my teeth drilled while trying to hold my pee. It just isn’t going to happen.

I slept till 3pm today. I don’t ever remember sleeping this late. I didn’t feel like going to the pharmacy to get my meds today. I wasn’t able to fill my med boxes with all the meds but I will do that tomorrow. Hopefully the pharmacy will have my BT in stock and will fill my prescription. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet. I plan on doing it before bed as I didn’t brush yesterday. I am really bad about brushing my teeth. Hence why I need to get my teeth filled.

I feel really depressed because of the pain I am in. I took a BT med for the urethral pain because it was so bad. I need to go into town tomorrow to get my urine tested. I am thinking of taking a Uber there so that I will be there faster than the T. It depends on how I feel and if I feel like I can hold it.

I just have therapy and PT on Tuesday. I can’t wait to talk to my therapist about my sister. It is really upsetting because she also has been misgendering me this whole week. I can’t wait till she gets back to work so I don’t have to deal with her.

I was up so I watched the OSUvsMich game. It is in the 4th quarter and OSU is losing. Xichigan defense is better than in past years so it has been a tight game instead of a blowout I was expecting.

The 3rd vaccine is giving me side effects. I have a 99.6 temp and chills. I took some tylenol. Both arms are sore today and I just feel lousy. I was up during the night because I had to go pee and then couldn’t settle down. I woke up again around 8 to pee again because I got thirsty when I was up.

I wanted to pick up my meds but I don’t feel like going out. I will pick them up tomorrow. I don’t fill my med boxes until then anyways. I feel tempted to take a BT med right now because my broken arm is hurting so much. I put on a long sleeve shirt and as I was pulling down the shirt I aggravated my shoulder. Damn thing hates movement right now. I also aggravated my muscles. I hate put heat on while I was having my 2nd cup of coffee.

I’m just laying low right now. I am going to nap and hope I feel better.

Better man (Taylor’s Version)

I’ve been listening to Red TV since it came out. I am now listening to songs on repeat. Better Man is one of those songs. I love this song so much.

I have just been eating pies and cookies today rather than real food. I have had two cups of coffee with the sweets. I plan on attacking  my sister’s cheesecake later. I don’t plan on doing anything today other than getting my third vaccine and picking up my meds when I go to the pharmacy. I am also going to get some burn blister stuff for my burn so it can hurry up the healing process.

I shaved and brushed my teeth today. I figured I would do that while I was in the bathroom. It is cold today so I plan on wearing my beanie Sox hat. It is also rainy which is probably why my back hurts today. Shoulder also hurts, well my arm. I will be having the vaccine in my right arm which will probably make it sore as hell. I have the weekend to recuperate if I get side effects.

I got my shot. It hurt. Arm isn’t sore yet. I was thinking of getting some blister bandages but all they had were large and my blister isn’t that big. Of course it popped when I hit my hand on the railing as I was getting in my house. I am still out of breath from walking up the street and the circular staircase. I got a regular band aid on my hand and I hate wearing bandages but the blister is all open and I don’t want to get it infected. I might have to use a glove when I have to cath to protect it.

My cousin texted me to remind me of the OSU/Xichigan game tomorrow. I might watch it if I am up. The 24lb turkey is gone so I will have one of my pot pies tomorrow and will try not to have it go flying on the floor this time and burn myself with it.

It is after 5pm and I am tired. My usual sleepy hour has come. Doesn’t matter what I am doing or don’t do, I am always tired around the same time each day. Then I have a hard time falling asleep if I don’t nap. Last night I moved something on my bed and my 100 colored pencils box fell off the bed. Did it stay closed? Of course not. I got half a box of pencils on my floor near my bed. I bought a pencil case that is zippered and has more than 100 slots so when that case comes in is when the pencils will be picked up. Fuck.