It has been hot and muggy the past week. I’ve been tolerating it but I am starting to lose my patience with it. I need to clear the area where my AC is so my bro in law can put it in. I sort of made a mess of it when I was cleaning my hamper out. I got to decide what I am going to do with the clothes. They aren’t particularly my favorite. And the sweatpants elastic is basically gone. Doesn’t fit me anymore.
I had therapy yesterday reluctantly as I needed to get a letter from her. She was being a bitch the whole session. I hate it when she doesn’t allow me to change subjects or just shut down on something. We talked about my mother and school and transitioning. I told her she could write the letter saying how I was depressed because I was transgender and wasn’t transitioned but now that I am transitioned I feel better. She then asked how do I explain the major depressive episode last fall. Ugh. I really can’t. Late Aug/early Sept I always suffer from depression. Been that way for nearly 30 years. Sometimes I get really suicidal. I didn’t tell her this. I felt like if I did, I wouldn’t have the letter.
After therapy, I went to get some lunch and my haircut. Talking to my barber made me depressed. I was feeling so low afterwards. I went home after and then I went to PT. My foot was hurting because I had been on my feet all day. We decided not to do the machine and just worked with a ball. She then worked on my foot tendons. My foot was hurting still today but less so.
Today is my nephew’s birthday so we went out to eat. I ate too much. I slept nearly all day. I didn’t do anything I wanted to do. I just couldn’t get out of bed. I had a hard time sleeping because my foot and ankle flared up. I hurt so bad. I was up until like 130 and then woke up every couple of hours during the night. Didn’t help that it was so fricken hot in my room. I really need to clear the space so my bro in law can put the AC in.
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