ramblings 10

Got my new laptop and it is different than what I expected. The keys are bigger but a little more centered than other keyboards. I still have a hard time typing because I don’t know where the keys are and have to look.
Windows 8 is different and I might just use this laptop for my blogging to get used to it. I am having a hard time closing programs once I open them. And if I do a certain move on the mousepad, it’s like I press alt/tab to get to another open program. The other thing that kills me is that I don’t know where the control panel is for programs or settings. I am going to have to take a tutorial on the windows website to figure this shit out.
I mailed out my package to the UK today. And I got myself a sub at my favorite sub shop. I smell pretty bad so will need to take a shower tonight as I don’t remember the last time I did. I have been really bad about showering. It’s hard to do when you don’t have place to go to or people to see. I think Wed I am going to try and get up early so I can take my sister’s car for my therapy appt. It will be good to see my therapist. I haven’t seen her since March. We have been doing phone therapy which sometimes sucks because I don’t want to talk. I can’t cancel but I can rearrange my time. My therapist knows I have nothing planned usually so she snags me whenever she has a time open. It kind of helps with the boredom of not doing anything. I was telling her today my troubles with my comparison paper. I told her I have to get over my stupidity problem and she agreed, but it is easier said than done. I believe everything I write is stupid and because of this, I have a hard time going back to writing something once I think it is. It is the biggest problem I have with writing.
Very sad right now as I misplaced my 8 GB drive that had all my research on it. Last time I made a backup of it was dec 2011 so not all is lost but I feel like I lost a part of my life. I was going to wipe out my laptop but I don’t think I will now until I find my drive as it has my last copy of my life. I don’t want to lose all my research of 7 yrs. And to make matters worse, in my haste I lost my backup drive because I forgot the password. It has been a long while since I used this encrypted drive. You only have so many tries before it formats itself. I am beyond pissed right now. I knew the password just couldn’t remember which letters were capitalized.