I started the day off with a blog about my writing buddy but I wanted to write more about my day.
It has been a crazy day for me. My mood has been all over place. I have been up since early this morning and then had to watch my niece. It took a lot of energy to do this and my ankle is somewhat paying the price for it now.
I really wanted to take a nap but I don’t have any time as the Sox game is about to start.
Last night as I was taking some medication for my foot, I spilled some of my Gatorade on my sheets. It sent me into a tizzy of self-harm urges. I don’t know why that is. I know I was mad at myself for being clumsy. Maybe anger toward myself is the trigger for my self-harm.
I didn’t write anything for my book today. I am too tired, both physically and mentally. The hypergraphia that had yesterday seems to have dissipated.
I emailed the blog I am referenced in to a few friends and my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is awesome and she wrote back asking me if I wanted to participate in her med student class again. It is basically an interview model where one doctor will ask me questions while the students observe. There are usually 8-10 students in the group. Usually that will bother me but they stay quiet and don’t ask me any type of questions. Now I just have to come up with some ailment to present to the class. I have so many to choose from. I think I will go with CRPS as the last time it wasn’t too clear a diagnosis. I still have trouble with understanding it but it is important for students to realize there are some neurological ailments that are not always textbook. Last year when I had the interview I mostly talked about my transgender issues and surprisingly, I was ok though I was a little shaken up afterwards. I couldn’t believe I told a roomful of strangers my inner most secret. It was tough to process afterwards but it is an important issue to bring up to med students.
I enjoy talking with the doctor. It usually is about forty-five minutes of talking and sometimes there are questions, sometimes there are not. I am usually guided along with my “ailment” of what brings me to the clinic. It usually is difficult in the beginning but then eases on out.
I am glad the mixed state I was feeling earlier today is gone. Now I just want to go to bed but I have to see if Buccholz is going to get his ass kicked or not and keep his 9-0 record, hopefully make it 10-0.