I just read about a Swedish study that said that depression and psychiatric conditions are major factors to suicide. DUH. But what was startling me more was that of the 18 suicide deaths in their study, all were diagnosed within a 13 week period, were seen by a health care professional (HCP), and my biggest question was WHY the hell weren’t they treated with follow up?? Other factors were being male, unemployed, and unmarried. Geez, I fit those criteria. So why am I not dead by suicide?? I am perplexed. Granted it has been more than 13 weeks since I was diagnosed with depression. But I do have the other factors. I have a spine condition, chronic pain, and other psychiatric disorder (I also suffer from psychosis). Why am I still alive?? I just don’t understand it. Now wonder why I am chronically suicidal. It all makes sense to me now. I am suicidal because statistically, I should be dead. I don’t think there will ever be a day when I am not suicidal.
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midnightdemons7 
Thank you for your insight and support.
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Well, you may be aware of the things I’m about to share, but here it goes. Correlation does not equal causation. Although you do fit into categories you describe in your post, just having those conditions won’t cause you to complete suicide. Your struggles with thoughts of suicide have introduced you to coping skills that help keep you alive. All kinds of factors contribute to suicide attempts – some of those who have died did not have a support system or did not know they could turn to others for support. The fact that you are alive says to me, that you have support systems in place and you know how to access them. I hope this takes some of the mysterious out of the “why” question.
Although I do not claim to fully understand your struggles, I am glad you are open and share your experiences with others. I think your ability to stay alive is an inspiration to those whom struggle as well as for those whom are a part ot their support system. In short your post save lives. Thank you!
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