Baseball, Allergies, and other stuff
I think the cold in my throat/chest is nothing more than allergies gone haywire. Since taking the antihistamine, I have been fine, until I forgot to take it last night. My nose is running like a faucet, eyes are itchy, and the post nasal drip has been want to force things out of my stomach. So far, I have been able to keep things down. I just had pasta with garlic so hopefully that will help keep some of the allergens away from me (wishful thinking but what the hell).
I had therapy today and I didn’t want to. I should have cancelled tomorrow when I had the chance but I was stupid and didn’t call. I am so sick of talking to her. Next week I get a little break. I talk to her on Monday morning and Wednesday. I am hoping it won’t be so bad but my mood can change on the dime. Right now I am feeling a little frustrated with therapy. We talk about the same thing nearly every single session. It is getting so boring. I thought reading this depression book would be good for us to talk about, which it is, but I haven’t been able to read it since Thursday because I have been in a lot of pain. The book is dense and takes some effort to read it.
And she is hung up on the song idea. Leave me alone. When a song comes my way, it will. Forcing it is not going to help. So I told her I had a song but I don’t really know if I do or not. I have to listen to it a few more times to see if it fits me or not. I just know it’s by the Band Perry. I don’t remember the name of the song.
In baseball news, I am PISSED. One of my pitchers got a 6 game suspension for throwing the ball over the batter’s head. He did not hit the pitcher at all, yet he gets suspended. Meanwhile, in the same game, the opposite pitcher hits 2 men and gets NOTHING. No ejection, no fines, no suspensions. NOTHING!! It is a conspiracy against my Sox!! And I am not happy about it. I am beyond PISSED about it!! WTF.
OK I said my rant about baseball. My depression is still the same, though I think it is finally getting better. I was able to get out of the house today for the first time since Friday without too much pain. I went out Sunday to get my scripts but that caused me too much pain and I had to spend another day on the DL. I felt bad because I was supposed to go to my niece’s graduation ceremony but I couldn’t stand or walk more than a few feet without pain. I had to take another strong pain killer yesterday to help with the pain and break the cycle. Surprisingly, I haven’t been suicidal nor have the demons come out. I guess I am just too tired. I don’t feel hopeless like I used to so I think that is helping me. Hopelessness and depression usually cause one to think about suicide. I still think people would be better off without me though. And if I had a chance to kill myself without pain, I would do it. But I just am not feeling it.
A friend of mine is reading my book. So far she likes it. I hope that she writes a review on Amazon. I am going to try and get her to. That will be three reviews I have on my book. I will be happy.
midnightdemons7 