home

I am home from the hospital. I am feeling less suicidal than when I first came in and the case manager said I did a good job in staying an extra day to sort out my feelings. I was apprehensive about leaving but now I am okay and in my bed, which I missed very much. I am writing this on my laptop so it won’t take me five years to crank out a blog and it will be comprehensible as I won’t be using the touch screen on my tablet. God that was good in a pinch but aggravating to type on as it distracted the flow as I had to correct stuff as I was typing it. Like it would correct “three” with “there” when I really wanted to say Three. I supposed I should have used the number but I didn’t think of it at the time. Silly me.

I have my prescriptions being filled. The bad part is that I won’t be getting them tonight as the pharmacy is backed up. I am going to try and pick them up around 8 before they close as I will need the new blood pressure pill they put me on. My blood pressure has been high and so has been my pulse. I know it’s most likely because I am stressed and overweight, but one thing at a time. I am going to try and lose some more weight but it’s hard. I really am hungry right now and want to munch on things. Worst part is that there are cheese doodles that are calling my name. But I am going to be a good boy and not think about it. I know I gained a few pounds while I was in the hospital because I ate out of boredom. I just hope I didn’t gain too much or my PCP is going to have my head! And it is going to be harder to lose the weight than gaining it. I wish losing it was as easy as gaining. It sucks.

I forgot that I spent my last twenty bucks so I am fucking screwed in paying for my pills. I might have to borrow money from my sister, again. I hate doing so because she has her daughter’s college tuition to pay for. I just feel bad asking her for money. I don’t get paid till next week and I can’t go a week without my meds. That will not be good.

My mother is making stuffed chicken so I will have my first home cooked meal in a month. I can’t believe that I spent almost four weeks in the hospital. But I needed to be there. I really had no idea how sick I was. I just hope it stays this way, least for a while. I really don’t want to go back and I doubt that I will. I just miss my therapist and can’t wait till she is back next week. We have a lot to catch up on.