Latte Fail

Latte fail

I started the day very early, again. I woke up at 0530. I stayed in bed till around 7ish when I had some breakfast, hoping that it would welcome me back to sleep. Nope. I had weird dreams instead. I swear it was at 45 min intervals that I was awoken by these disturbing dreams. I think I rather have nightmares than dreams that make no sense and that I can’t remember.

I forgot to charge my phone again last night. I think I am testing the battery power throughout the night. If it was fully charged, I probably would have gone out of the house around 8 for my coffee rather than two hours later when I really didn’t feel like doing squat. But I made it out of the house and got my latte. Unfortunately, with the caffeinating, it didn’t wake me up. I am still waiting for it to wake me up, three hours later. I wrote in my journal, but it was broken up my the distraction of Twitter and Facebook. I heard through Gates McFadden that the US Supreme court rejected the appeals for gay marriage. YAY for gay marriage. She said it was the start of a beautiful day. Maybe for her. I am still waiting to feel some good. After stinking up my clothes of coffee scent, I left for the next bus. My mother calls me one stop before the one I get off. She tells me to take the chicken out of the freezer. Soon as I open the freezer door, blueberries make a brake for it. Yup, floor covered in blueberries because they were not in the right container for fucking freezing. I don’t know why my mother freezes fruit when it takes her months to make something. It just nose dives to the floor every time we open the freezer door. Pissed me off. And she has gone shopping and I am going to have to get the bags because my lazy cousin is “tired”. Well I am too and in pain so I beat your ass.

Just am in an annoyed kind of mood, can’t you tell? I should have called the junk car people today but I didn’t. That will hopefully happen tomorrow. I got to get the car out of here before the colder weather comes and then I will have to wait till spring. My brother in law will not be happy if it stays in the driveway another winter. If you can give out procrastination badges, I win. This car has been there for more than two years. It is falling apart. My biggest fear is that the guy will come, see the car, and walk away like he doesn’t know what I am talking about. The bumper has given way and you can no longer see the exhaust pipe. The shocks finally gave way. It is a total junk car.

I am not feeling good mentally. I put in a text to my therapist to see if I can see her today but I haven’t heard back. I might call her in a little bit to ask for a check in. I really need it. I feel like I am falling apart like the car in my driveway. My cousin (lazy one) just asked me how I was doing. I told him lousy. He doesn’t get the pain that I get from going up and down two flights of stairs. There is nothing physically wrong with him so why the fuck can’t he take the stuff up the stairs?? Drives me fucking nuts.