I finally was able to have a nap today. Too bad it was filled with horrible dreams and images. Luckily, they dissipated when I woke up. I had woken up early today because the cable guy was supposed to be here between 8-9. They got my TV working again, though even he had trouble getting through to cable to turn the device on. I had to laugh.
I still am pretty sleepy but thought I would write before going back to bed. I don’t think I will be working on my short story today as I have no inclination or motivation to do so. It will have to stay at 845 words, for now. I was going to work on it this morning but I got distracted by Twitter and my text messages going off. The public transportation system is a mess since all this snow, with major delays and cancellation of services, especially our commuter rail lines.
I am feeling pretty crummy for some reason, not physically, just mentally. I think it’s because my mother really said something hurtful to me this morning. She was blaming my niece’s irresponsibility on me, like it is my fault she didn’t wake up to watch my little niece. It really pissed me off. But if I am so irresponsible, how is it then, that you still have cable and I have my cell phone? She just is a bitch and it is getting worse as I get older. I can’t stand her. I really wanted to tell her off but I bit my tongue. I really wanted to say something but I just walked away.
Tomorrow I need to see the other parent. Wish someone would fill my pill box every week. I was talking with a friend last night and she wondered why I didn’t go to the ER when I was psychotic. Just because I was a little agitated didn’t mean I needed to be in the ER. She thought I would be “safer”. I explained, which I shouldn’t have to, that I have been through this before and I know when I need to be in the ER and when I don’t. She got all mad. WTF.
I finally found my Lincoln DVD. It was on my nightstand all this time, hidden under some tissues. I am glad I found it because I was starting to think that I lost it as I couldn’t remember what I did with it. The place where I thought it was, it wasn’t. I checked every where that it could be, including the case and where I put my other CDs. But it is found and that is the important thing. I watched it and I couldn’t believe I fell dozed off during my favorite part of the movie. I woke up with the battle scene and Lincoln talking to Grant (where the end of the movie should have taken place, in my opinion). I didn’t cry during the end when he died. I usually do, even though I have seen this movie over a hundred times already. I will probably watch it tonight and try not to doze off.
Oh my Gawd, my whacky cousin just came to visit my mother. Hope she doesn’t want to see me. I can’t stand her. She drives me nuts with her constant health problems, some of which I think are made up or diagnosed on the internet. She once saw a whacked doc who told her, her adrenals were depleted. If that were true, she would be able to maintain her blood pressure. She’d be passing out left and right. Hypochondriac she is. I used to trust her and actually did one time. But then she teased me on my mental illness and other things so I cut her out of my life. I have limited contact with her as much as possible.
I still got my damn menses. I hope it goes away soon. It’s so annoying me not wearing boxer shorts. I think I am getting a migraine. My head hurts, but only on one side of my head. I hope some ibuprofen takes care of it.
midnightdemons7 