Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive? #WPDP

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Depends. If I had an active day, the next day is usually my rest day. If I have a string of days where I don’t don’t do anything, I feel unproductive. But I try to do at least a thing or two each day. It can be clearing my bed of recycle or reading a chapter in a book.

some things done

Some things done

I woke up around 9. I took my meds and decided today was the day I was going to shower and shave. My nephew was still home but I didn’t care. I had a coffee and then afterwards, I went to the bathroom. I shaved and trimmed my goatee. Then I showered. I was kind of tired as my back had cramped up while I was shaving but I persisted. I had to sit down a couple times in the shower. I couldn’t help it. My back was not liking me standing for so long. I dried off and then went to my room with the towel wrapped around my waist.

I rested on my bed for a bit before I got dressed. I drank some water. I had to put drops in my eyes because my dry eye was flared up. I got dressed when I got up to do my drops. I still had a couple hours before therapy. I still needed to pick up my meds. I figured I would go after therapy.

My therapist’s connection went out while we were meeting. It took like ten minutes for us to get connected. We talked about the depression and how to do opposite action and radical acceptance. I wanted to go out today because it was nice out. However, after therapy I didn’t want to get dressed. I got lazy. I made something to eat. I wanted to make a tuna sandwich but the bread had to be thawed out. I made stuffing instead and ate the whole box. I didn’t plan it that way but I was hungry and couldn’t see just a little leftover. I had another sneeze attack when I got back to my room. My sinuses were killing me. I have no idea why I am sneezing. I hope I am not getting sick. I know it most likely is because my niece and nephew have been burning candles. I don’t do well with scents.

I’ve been on social media all day. I have been switching between the three of them, well, I think there are four. I did my Italian. I am getting the hang of the language but still mess up with using the word “the” correctly. It messes me up so much because in English you don’t typically say the with nouns. I am hoping that if I master it, I can test out of the language. Only trouble is that my speaking the language is hard. I don’t pronounce things right nor do I hear things right. Sometimes I feel like Joey on Friends when Pheobe was trying to teach him French.

I extended my reading challenge to 16 books. So far I have read 14. I am trying to decide what to read next. I am thinking it might be a baseball book that keeps staring at me. Only problem is that it is the last book in the stack and I am scared I might knock over the pile trying to retrieve it. I have to see if I can fix my printer. It is a mess with toner right now. For some reason it is not picking up the paper so it is giving me an empty thing even though the tray has paper. I think some toner might be in the connection. Ugh. I don’t understand how I got the wrong toner when it is a Canon toner for a Canon printer. I matched it several times. I don’t get it.

Nothing done

I’ve been up since 830 and besides taking my meds and brushing my teeth, I’ve gotten nothing else done. I need a shower and a shave. I also need to pick up my meds. I have a headache and toothache so I don’t want to do anything. I managed to make myself something to eat. I tried napping but soon as I got comfy I had to fucking pee. I just feel so fucking blah.

I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow. I sent her a message the other night about how I can’t seem to answer the question, who am I? I honestly don’t know who I am. I got the question from the book thinking about suicide. He said he was able to answer it but didn’t elaborate. It’s all self-reflection. Not really sure how to answer the question tho. I’ve thought about it for the past three days and can’t come up with anything positive.

I know I should see the dentist for my tooth. The broken baby tooth I had is gone. The tooth next to it is broken and hurts my tongue. It’s been a week since this happened and now the gum is sore. Tooth probably needs to be taken out. The broken part is right on the gumline.

I don’t feel like caring for myself today. I weighed myself for the first time in a couple months and I’ve gained fricken ten pounds. I am not happy. I feel disgusted with myself.

I need to pick up my meds. I haven’t left the house since this weekend. Maybe taking a brief walk will help clear my head some. It’s nice out today.

What could you try for the first time? #WPDP

What could you try for the first time?

I am trying to work on my trauma for the first time.