Author: Midnight Demon

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression and chronic pain that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

shoulder pain and PT

by Midnight Demon, posted in depression

Shoulder pain and PT

I saw the ortho doc yesterday and he recommended PT. He had said something about seeing a shoulder specialist but I thought it was if this didn’t get better or if it got worse. But today I got a call from the shoulder specialist and will be meeting with him tomorrow.

I had therapy today and we discussed the blog I wrote about hopelessness. She thought it was interesting that my chronic pain had gone down when the depression had gotten better. It is a chicken and egg kind of scenario because I really don’t know what got better first. I know that since my back surgery, my CRPS pain for the most part has been low. There might be a day or a few days where it is at a high level. Every day my foot throbs but for the most part it is tolerable. We talked about this. During the whole session my eyes were tearing. I don’t know why they were. It was bugging the crap out of me. Therapist asked if I was crying. I told her no. She said she had to check. LOL

I rested after therapy for a bit. I should have taken a shower but I was so damn tired I didn’t think of it. I went to PT and my PT said that she would treat both my shoulder and back as it happened to occur due to the same fall that I took. I told her I dislocated my shoulder and when it went back in place, I broke the bone. She was amazed that I did that in one fall. She said reading the reports were worse than seeing me in person. I am glad about that. She gave me the typical back exercises to do and to keep up with the shoulder stuff that I have been doing.

I came home tired and hungry. I had a bowl of cereal. That is really all I have been eating these days. Last night I tried sleeping sitting up but it didn’t last. I have to lie down to sleep. But I kept my shoulder as flat to my chest as possible. It really hurts right now and I have been in the sling all day. My arm hurts really bad. I hope I can sleep tonight because I have an early appointment tomorrow with the specialist. Then in the afternoon I see my urologist. Going to be a long day and I am grateful I don’t have any more appointments for the rest of the week. I am going to need to rest and I don’t care if I am in bed all day.

Saturday Blog 06112021

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 06112021

Today I am dealing with an influx of junk mail being filtered to my inbox rather than junk mail folder. I must have gotten at least a half dozen notifications today so far that are junk. I don’t know what is the problem. I sent a message to outlook hoping to find a reason. It’s jut ridiculous. The emails are all bogus. But I think I got a handle on it as most of the emails are from the same domain.

I sort of woke up when my med alarm went off at 0830. I made the mistake of falling back to sleep and now I feel like all I want to do is sleep. I only woke up once during the night and that was to go pee. I hope when I go for my test next week that it records the urge sensation when I am cathing. It is so uncomfortable to be going about my business cathing and then get an uncontrollable urge to pee. Sometimes my stream becomes stronger and then urine goes everywhere. It is messy and I hate it.

I had a cup of coffee and I might have a second cup soon as I am so fricken tired. I think I am going to heat up the chicken pot pie that I have for lunch. I haven’t really eaten anything today. My mother made zucchini and had a little of that but it was wicked salty.

Ohio State and Nebraska are playing each other in college football. Every year they play each other and every year I am conflicted who to root for because they are my favorite teams. OSU is beating the Huskers right now. I think OSU is going to beat them, again. Nebraska has been holding up some good defense though. It is a close game right now. And OSU wins 26-17!

My damn shoulder is killing me today. I put heat on my ribs as the muscles are sore. My bicep keeps throbbing along with my wrist/forearm. I can’t wait till I see the doc on Monday and they decide what they are going to do. I hope I can delay PT for a few weeks until I get my back PT in. I don’t think I need the full six weeks as usually one to three dry needle sessions is all I need. I start PT on Tues. It is with the same PT that I had earlier this year. She is good and I like her style.