suicide paper, V1

“You will not fail to see that I am suffering under a depression of spirits which will [not fail to] ruin me should it be long continued” -Edgar Allan Poe {{Jamison, 1993 #18}.    

Depression, left untreated, eventually leads to suicide.  In the United States, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death, accounting for approximately 30,000 deaths with an age adjusted rate of 10.7 per 100,000 persons (Gaynes et al., 2004).  Most clinicians have seen suicidal patients throughout their careers.  Researchers have reported that professional psychologists has a 1:5 or 1:7 chance of losing a client to suicide; for psychologist trainees, a 1:6 ratio has been reported.  To date, there is no known formalized training program for beginning or experienced clinicians designed to teach suicide assessment skills, nor is there a recognized model for treating suicidal thoughts and feelings in a systematic way (Rosenberg, 1999).  Furthermore, the current literature fails to accurately define what it meant by “suicide ideation” or “suicide attempt”.  O’Carroll et al describes in their research how one clinician can say to the other that they have hospitalized a client due to suicide attempt.  The other clinician often wonders what that means.  Does that mean the client actively attempted deliberate self-harm warranting medical attention, attempted self-harm but did not warrant medical attention, or ideated a plan for an attempt and was intent on acting on that plan.  Eg pg 238 on senate asking the question and responding.  Reasons for intent, how many came to the hospital how many didn’t, how many died.  Basic terms are not uniform among clinicians (O’Carroll et al., 1996). 

David Rudd has provided a conceptual framework based on clinical summaries and assessment tasks consistent with existing standards of care but not dependent on psychotherapeutic orientation.  This framework is divided into three categories: practical skills, self-image, and interpersonal relationship (Rudd, 1998). 

One of the essential goals to achieve treatment success is to emphasize psychodynamic approaches to developmental issues and the therapeutic relationship.  A strong therapeutic alliance is essential to positive outcome treatment with a depressed client (Klein et al., 2003).

Several studies have noted a difference between single and multiple attempters (Joiner & Rudd, 2000; Joiner, Walker, Rudd, & Jobes, 1999; Rudd, Joiner, Jobes, & King, 1999; Walker, Joiner, & Rudd, 2001).  It has been postulated that previous suicide attempts sensitize one to subsequent suicide-related thoughts and behaviors.  These individuals with a history of multiple attempts display behavioral and cognitive styles distinct from those of non-multiple attempters. There is also evidence that crisis intensity is related to negative life events for non-multiple attempters but not for multiple attempters (Walker et al., 2001). These same authors have stated that clients fall into three types of groups when assessing suicidality: suicide ideators, single attempters, and multiple attempters (Joiner et al., 1999).

The difference between them is the elevated risk in multiple attempters because of type, chronicity, and severity of psychopathology.  The authors also go on to define seven domains of factors in assessing suicide risk.  These are:

1. Previous suicidal behavior

2. Nature of current suicidal symptoms

3. Precipitant stressors

4. General symptomatic presentation, including hopelessness

5. Impulsivity and self-control

6. Other dispositions (e.g. history of abuse, environmental factors, substance abuse, etc)

7. Protective factors (e.g. suicidal writing, social support)

A history of previous suicidal behavior is an important domain for risk assessment.

In addition to these domains, the authors have narrowed down two main factors to summarize suicidal symptomatology risk: “resolved plans and preparation” and “suicidal desire and ideation”.

     Resolved plans and preparation is defined as the following symptoms: a sense of courage to make and attempt, a sense of competence to make an attempt, availability of means to and opportunity for attempt, specificity of plan for attempt, preparations for attempt (seeking gun, pills, etc), duration of suicidal ideation, and intensity of suicidal ideation.  Their view is that if the client shows such symptoms, they are in pernicious, moderate risk.

     The suicidal desire and ideation factor defines the following symptoms: reasons for living, wish to die, frequency of ideation, wish not to live, passive attempt, desire for attempt, expectancy of attempt, lack of deterrents to attempt, and talk of death and/or suicide.  These symptoms are clinically noteworthy but are considered minimal risk, unless the client has had previous suicidal attempts (Joiner et al., 1999).

References:

Gaynes, N. B., West, S. L., Ford, C. A., Frame, P. S., Klein, J., & Lohr, K. (2004). Screening for suicide risk in adults: A summary of the evidence for the United States preventative services task force. Annuals of Internal Medicine, 140(10), 822-835.

Jamison, K. R. (1993). Touched with fire.New York: Free Press Paperbacks. p.18

Joiner, T. E., & Rudd, M. D. (2000). Intensity and duration of suicidal crises vary as a function of previous suicide attempts and negative life events. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 68(5), 909-916.

Joiner, T. E., Walker, R. L., Rudd, M. D., & Jobes, D. A. (1999). Scientizing and routinizing the assessment of suicidality in outpatient practice. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(5), 447-453.

Klein, D. N., Santiago, N., Vivian, D., Schwartz, J. E., Vosisano, C., Blalock, J., et al. (2003). Therapeutic alliance in depression treatment: Controlling for prior change and patient characteristics. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 71, 997-1006.

O’Carroll, P. W., Berman, A. L., Maris, R. W., Moscicki, E. K., Tanney, B. L., & Silverman, M. M. (1996). Beyond the tower of babel: A nomenclature for suicidology. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 26(3), 237-252.

Rosenberg, J. I. (1999). Suicide prevention: An integrated training model using affective and action-based interventions. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(1), 83-87.

Rudd, M. D. (1998). An integrative conceptual and organizational framework for treating suicidal behavior. Psychotherapy, 35(3), 346-360.

Rudd, M. D., Joiner, T. E., Jobes, D. A., & King, C. A. (1999). The outpatient treatment of suicidality: An integration of science and recognition of its limitations. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(5), 437-446.

Walker, R. L., Joiner, T. E., & Rudd, M. D. (2001). The course of post-crisis suicidal symptoms: How and for whom is suicide “cathartic”? Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 31(2), 144-152.

About baseball

1-Sept 2012

Last night my favorite baseball team, the red sox, lost horribly to the Oakland A’s. In a combination of bad pitching and former red sox players (they were on the A’s), the A’s beat the crap out of the Sox, 20-2. Now the rest of the world doesn’t know the Sox exist. Even the MLB twitter will only report devastating losses over superb wins with any OTHER team EXCEPT the red sox. It’s like ALL the other teams are more important than the Sox. I have been watching the chatter over the past several weeks and feel this is an injustice. But then I looked at the standings and found that there is one more pitiful team other than the red sox this season,  the Houston Astros. They are currently forty games back, with a 40-92 record!  There are 162 games and this team has managed to lose 92 of them so far. There is still another month of baseball left and football (American)  season starts next week. But as is the case with me, no other sport matters to me as much as baseball. I don’t even recognize the first few games of football no matter how bad the sox are and I keep looking at the MLB’s website to check who is in the post season and wild card games.  Football season to me doesn’t start until the World Series is over, no matter if the sox are in it or not.  The sox might have a chance if they are able to pull it together but under the current management, I doubt it. I cannot stand Bobby Valentine! He just looks and acts like a complete asshole! Instead of words of encouragement , he gives nothing, least what I can see. Least Tito Francona (former Red Sox manager)  always had something positive to say even when someone had the worst outing of their career.

I don’t think there is much hope about a Red Sox post season with the way my beloved sox are playing so far. Yet despite the past 7 losses, I still watch the games, I still keep up with them despite cursing them at every wrong pitch, HR, error, and bad play.  I just can’t help myself.  Like someone said years ago, the sox are like a wife beater. You love them and hate them and keep coming back for more hoping each time that things will be better only for it to stay the same.  These are my SOX and I am a proud member of Red Sox Nation. The world may not think they are great but they are the world to me.

Ramblings

I finally have had to refill two of my pens that I write with nearly everyday. It is because, even though I have over a dozen of the same pens, I have been favoring one over the others. I find this very exciting. I know I am a GEEK a pen conneiseur. But normally it would take me years to refill a pen but seeing as I have been writing more the past few months, my ink has run dry as clearly the letters to my therapist will show.
On Twitter, I have found my childhood crush, Wil Wheaton. He is probably one of the reasons why my mother thought I was straight. I like him but there is no sexual attraction. As he states,, he is just a guy. I admire him because he writes so honestly about himself.
In my previous blog I wrote about showering. It is difficult to take one not because I like being dirty but because I have anxiety. it is difficult to explain, partly due to it causing exhaustion and not knowing whether the shower will refresh me, invigorate me, or cause exhaustion. I took one today and it lead me to a three hour nap. I think my anti psych med might have something to do with this. I will take it tomorrow night to see if there is a change. Hopefully I won’t have the akethesia. I am only take half of what I should be taking but I am wondering if that is such a good idea as I have been having delusions about my leg. It is swollen due to unknown reasons and part of my brain wants to debride it of the poison. Despite elevation/ice/rest it still is swollen and it is bothering my psyche. I truly believe that is I cut it open I will get relief, and not in a psychological way, per se. I believe that once the poison is out, the swelling will go down and I will no longer have pain in my leg.  My psychiatrist thinks otherwise. She says it will not fix anything and could make things worse. This makes me angry because she doesn’t know this for a fact. Debridements happen all the time without further injury. I guess my delusions have out grown my common sense but I don’t care. Once I obtain the necessary equipment, I will hack into my leg to free the poison that has been there for months…

hail to the shower

8-30-12

I live in a depressed state most of the time. It takes me a long time to get dressed and make decisions about what to wear, from the socks, to the pants/ shorts, shirt, etc. but the most annoying thing that I always have to psych myself up for is a shower. It should be an easy decision but because I have to stand longer than I should, it is painful. It actually exhausts me, both physically and mentally instead of being invigorating. I rarely love taking a shower. I have such a bad association to it because it makes me exhausted and then afterwards I just want to crawl back in bed. It takes too much energy sometimes just to put clothes back on. It takes all I have out of me. I hardly ever think that it is a good thing to be exhausted after showering but I find that I am and I have grown to despise it. I don’t know when it happened it just did. Maybe because it just takes so much energy to shower. I don’t even stay in long, ten minutes tops, yet it still robs me of the energy for the day. Though this isn’t the case always. Sometimes if I take it a night it wakes me up and then I am up all hours of the night. It really is mind boggling how a shower affects me. You know you need to do it because of good hygiene and all but sometimes I just want to stay away from it because it bothers me so much. I usually try and take a shower every 3-4 days or so. I do this because my mother is always bitching about the water bill so that further causes me to wait until I am raunchy and smelly before I go. It is better in the winter time because the summer sucks. I sweat and you have to take a shower more just to get the stuff off you. I am lucky my hair is short and I don’t go out much because it gets greasy looking and once it starts itching I know I have no choice but to shower. I know you might think that this is silly but it really gives me anxiety.

I guess my pain meds have kicked in enough for me to try and shower. It will do one of two things, either wake me up or tire me out…

This time it tired me out. I took a three hour nap, which has been my norm the past few days. I think my meds may have something to do with it because within an hour or taking them I feel really sleepy.
On another note, I have been having strong urges to cut my leg the past 24 hrs. It sucks because I really think there will be a benefit to it while the medical professionals do not. It’s like an infection that needs debridement and I just feel that if I take the junk out, my leg will no longer be swollen anymore. My rational self still thinks this is a way bad idea. I know it probably is true but I hate being in pain all the time. So the question becomes, to cut or not to cut…