Had a hectic day today. I walked 0.8 miles and I feel pretty good about it, though my ankle disagrees. I have been up since 5. I made breakfast, showered, and had coffee all before 8 am. Which left me an hour and half to play my game and decide what to wear. It was cold and rainy today so I wanted to be warm but not too warm because I knew I would be walking. I hate sweating. Luckily for me it stayed cool and I didn’t overheat.
I think one of my upcoming blogs I am going to do a book review on “Managing Suicidal Risk” by David Jobes. It has been a while since I last read it and by chance I found it today while looking for something else. It is my autographed copy of the book. I will send the link to the author as well as post it on Amazon. It won’t be too long of a blog but will describe the essence of what it is to manage suicidality.
I will be ordering two books tomorrow when I get paid. They are books I normally wouldn’t purchase but I need a change of what I am reading. I still haven’t gotten through the book on the civil war or Andrew Solomon’s book, “Far From The Tree” (FFTT). Both books are lengthy, over 500 pages. In fact, I have a little over 500 pages to read for the civil war book. He just keeps dragging out the year 1861. And I am not the type to skip pages so I am plugging along as much as I can without getting annoyed. It took me 276 pages to get to the civil war alone!! If you want to read this book that discusses the economic ways of the war, Battle Cry for Freedom is for you.
FFTT I haven’t touched in almost two months, since I left the hospital. It made for good reading for nights when I couldn’t sleep and because I had a single, I could keep the light on until my meds kicked in or I got sleepy enough to go to bed. It is a very interesting book about disabilities in children and how their parents deal with it. Mostly I am reading about the families that are well off enough to have their child go through expensive treatments. He doesn’t seem to talk about those families that are no so well off and struggle to make ends meet. However he does talk about the organizations for the different disabilities he discusses.
Overall, today has been a productive day for me. I hope that tomorrow I am not too sore because I really want to go to Starbucks and work on my coauthored book. I think if I get out of the house a little bit every day, even if I don’t want to, it will help me in the long run. Trick is ACTUALLY getting out of the house because it is so easy for me to roll over and go back to sleep. But I have a few errands tomorrow so I’d like to leave the house and do it rather than stay at home with the laptop.
For two days straight now, I have crapped my pants. I am so disgusted because I thought I got everything after my BM today. But nope. I must have passed gas or something to make the stool come out. I am purchasing diapers online so I don’t have to worry about the funny looks in the store. Turns out that if I buy them online and spend $25, I get free shipping. So I am throwing in some batteries too. We need “real” batteries, like Duracell, for our carbon monoxide detector. My mother refuses to buy the good kind and so buys the cheap brand. We have had to replace the batteries twice so far this year, over the course of 6 months! It is annoying!! I am hoping on days that I am out of the house for more than four hours, I can have protection and save my underwear. Luckily, I didn’t leak today or I would really be hitting the gin.
I came home and thought I was “relaxed” as I haven’t done anything strenuous in the first hour I was home so I took my blood pressure to see what it was. Not a good reading, 145/100. I am upset with myself. I will be monitoring it from now on because yesterday at my doctor’s appointment it was high. I thought I had my blood pressure under control but I guess I don’t. Fucking pisses me off that I have another thing to worry about because it’s not like my body is going to tell me I am running high. I have to use a machine to do that. Now I really have to try and lose weight so I can bring my pressure down some. I wish I could decrease my stress levels but dealing with my father is not going to do it, especially if he is going to have surgery in the upcoming weeks. So I have to monitor my pressure to keep myself in check. If it gets any higher, I will have to inform my PCP. I can’t be letting it skyrocket.
midnightdemons7 