I am still in a shitty mood. It’s not as cold today so I ventured out to my father’s. It went okay. I did what I had to do and then I left. I was the mailman today as both my father and mother gave me stuff to mail. I also had an item to put in the mailbox. I just hope that my therapist gets it by next week. I came home and made a steak. I also had some cookies my mother made. Now I am probably not going to eat anything for the rest of the day. I wish my mother didn’t make the cookies. They are my favorite kind, chocolate chip.
I took a shower today. I wanted to get my hair cut today but I just couldn’t get enough energy to go. I will try and go Saturday. I need to go to UPS that day to drop off my package. It’s in the Square so I can get my Starbucks afterwards. I wanted to go today but it would be too much. I am already pooped from going out to my father’s. One outing is all I can tolerate.
It’s not cold out but my room is freezing. My feet are so damn cold. I just put socks on and I might put on my long sleeved shirt. I am debating on watching a movie rather than go to my sister’s party tonight. I just am not up to seeing people and interacting. I really just want to go to sleep. I am so wiped out. I had the longest bus ride home because there was traffic and then a person in a wheelchair came on board. That took another fifteen minutes to get him on and situated.
At midnight, or thereabouts, if I am still up, I will post my year in review. I had a good year, blog wise anyway. I really had a year filled with depression and suicidality. I was also hypomanic for a little while. My only highlight was the New York Times article that got published. I will never forget those feelings. And I have the emails to remind me.
I still need to work on my book. That will come in time. I just hope that my therapist and psychiatrist lay off asking me about my writing enough that I can actually write. I have to put some more time into developing my ideas.
midnightdemons7 