a going off blog

A going off blog

I am just going to bitch about the problems in my life today because I have a therapist I can’t really talk to at times because she intimidates me. I have been slowly getting the recycle in my room together to be thrown in the recycle to be picked up tomorrow. It might seem like I am a hoarder but I am not. I just get overwhelmed and I don’t want the criticism that I drink too much Gatorade every single time I bring down the recycles. I have one bag of trash that needs to be thrown out. The problem is that the blood pressure medication that I am taking has been causing me heart rate problems. My heart rate went up to 156 and all I did was bend down to get something off the floor and when I stood up, I got wicked palpitations and heart racing. I sent a message to my doc that I want to be back on the beta blocker I was to control my BP. It was 142/94 today so the medication isn’t helping just causing problems/side effects.

I sent a message to my psychiatrist last night because I was so fed up with being in pain and being tired all the time because I am not sleeping during the night. I fought fatigue most of the day yesterday and didn’t nap. Last night was the same deal. I woke up around 0130 to pee and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried to stay off my phone even though I had messages. My psychiatrist wrote back saying that he supports me. I told him I hadn’t showered in days or brushed my teeth. Last night before bed I did brush my teeth. I haven’t done so today yet. I still need to shower. I stink because I was sweating yesterday. I also need to shave. My stubble is going to turn into a beard soon if I don’t.

My ribs are hurting. Actually everything on my left side is hurting. During dinner I put heat on my shoulder. My mother made pork chops and mashed potatoes. It was good. Now I just want to listen to some music and maybe read a bit before taking my night meds. I haven’t touched my book all week. So much for setting aside reading time. I can’t help it sometimes I am just too tired to read. I got 11 days to finish it. I want to try and read one book a month.

any thoughts?

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