Been up since four

Been up since Four

I have been up since four in pain. I took something to calm it down hoping I would go back to sleep but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I slept four hours before I was rudely awakened. I then had breakfast with my mother. We both had the same thing, an egg McMuffin. She made hers her way and I made mine my way. I then hoped to get some sleep but I had a cup of tea and that woke me up. I have been going since. I walked to the store to get some half and half for tomorrow’s coffee, but they didn’t have it. I was bummed so I walked a little more to get some exercise.

I have been playing my game since this morning. The only thing annoying is that the mouse seems to have a mind of its own. I can’t seem to place down crops with it going all over the place first. And trying to drag the homestead is torture. I literally have to hold on to something on the stead to move the board around.

I really wish baseball would play tonight. But it doesn’t until Tuesday. I can only figure they planned it that way so it doesn’t interfere with the NFL games (American football for my UK friends). All this rest is no good for the players, in my opinion. They will play like shit once the game starts.

Today has been a cool day but I still have my ceiling fan on. It’s a little stuff in my room as I keep the door closed at all times. I do this so I don’t hear the noise downstairs of my mother playing her dice game or the TV that is on close to full blast. My mother is deaf so needs things to be loud.

Today while on Facebook, it suggested my consultant as a friend. I couldn’t believe it so had to go to the profile to see if it was truly him. It was. I didn’t friend him because of professional boundaries, but thought it really cool of him to be on social media finally. Now if only I can get him on Twitter.

It has been a while since I last talked to him about stuff. I sent him my book, autographed and everything. I felt like he should have a copy as he has a chapter in it. I don’t know if he read it. He hasn’t written back to me about that. Come to think of it, neither has my psychiatrist really. She did say that is was very personal, which it is. Maybe it is too personal. I just know I haven’t sold a book in a month and that means that I will probably get charged a fee on my checking account. I just did some promoting via Twitter and a Facebook group. I don’t know if it helps but it is worth a shot. Self promoting is a big thing and you need energy for it, especially when you don’t have an agent. I emailed one back in September but never heard back so I don’t think she picked me. Oh well. Her loss, right? Right.

I know I should be working on my co-authored book but my ideas are running low and I think they are stupid. Plus I don’t know what to write exactly because there are no guidelines to really help me. And my co-author isn’t being to helpful with her general ideas about things. I need things to be specific. I am a condensed writer so I cut out the heart of the matter and just get right to the point. I already wrote 17 pages, which is a start but when I was editing, I realized I repeated the same thing three times!! So the best written lines stay and the rest get deleted. That is going to be so hard! I think the third set says it best though. I just have to work on the beginning a little more. Maybe if I write like I did my book it will help me. Like write the introduction, chap 1, etc. it will give me some sort of goal. I don’t know how we are going to mesh this. We haven’t talked about that because she has other fish frying right now. She hopes to publish on of her books sometime in 2015 so I have been giving her some leeway on our book. She wants to have it done by 2016 for the AAS conference. I don’t know if I will be able to attend. It is in Chicago and I would love to go as I love Chicago but my finances are nothing. I’m struggling as it is and saving money is not possible. I was hoping my book was going to be more successful than it has been but it’s not. I feel like a failure because it’s not. People tell me that at least I got a book done. Yea, but I care if they read it because what is the point of writing a book if no one is going to read it??

This week is going to be a long one. I have two doctor appointments for my father. I am going to be wiped out by the end of the week. I am hoping to keep my therapy appointment but it might have to be on the bus or at the train station. Those are my only alternatives as I have to be near my father’s house around 12:30 pm to get my sister’s car so we can get to his appointment on time. I am going to have wicked anxiety about this. Course, just thinking about it now is giving me anxiety. I might cancel the appointment just so I don’t stress myself out. Dealing with my father is going to be stressful enough as it is.