TG issues 4

TG issues 4

I brought up my transgender issue with my therapist today. I really feel like if I go ahead with the process, there is no going back. But then what happens if it turns out to be a huge mistake. I will just end my life. My mother today called me “Miss” and I nearly lost it. I feel like I am drowning and no one is noticing or cares.

I asked my therapist how I am a transgender and she said she doesn’t know, basically. She gave me a lot of what I termed, bullshit answers. I don’t really remember what the actually words were, I just heard Blah blah blah. I feel so isolated and not having anyone to talk to about this except my therapist is really getting hard.

I have been thinking a lot about ending my life the past few days. It never goes away. I always seem to think about it when I get into this mood that I am in. I got my fucking menses, again. And I just can’t deal. I really can’t. It’s like the last straw. I want to cut ties with everyone and just go do what my thoughts are telling me to do. I should not have to live like this but I don’t have a supportive family. Hell, I don’t even have friends that I can just call up and talk to. Being disabled really took away everything I have so why not just end my life? What purpose do I still have being on this earth??

23 thoughts on “TG issues 4

  1. hello, talking would be nice. Sorry I didn’t respond right away. I went to sleep after I blogged. email your number to crusher dot michael at hotmail dot com. I am sorry for the cryption, but I don’t want the spam bots getting a hold of my email address.

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  2. Things are a little overwhelming for me right now but I will see if I can hook you up with some safe resources. Just give me some time!

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  3. thanks but I am exhausted. Took my meds early and will be hitting the sack pretty soon as I harvest my crops. Thank you as always. I will look up the book and get it next month. I look forward to your review!

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  4. I have tried to find one and have not been able to. If they are out there, it is an enigma. I think they don’t post them because of hate groups. the one FTM group that I did find had out dated information. I haven’t been able to find another one since. It just seems so pointless.

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  5. Are there any TG support groups in your area? I know a few TG people and I think having a TG circle of friends and support would be helpful. At least you would know you are not alone.

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  6. Don’t end it. I love your words. I look forward to your blogs. I’d miss you. I know you don’t know me in real life…but you matter. Please don’t end your life. X

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  7. Hey I got a good book called Transgender 101. I plan on doing a book review of it on my blog and I can send it to you if you’re interested. I’m also free tonight (fate? I’ve been hella busy all other days) if you want/need to chat.

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any thoughts?