I had to resort to wearing my old bifocals because I was too lazy to go down the stairs and get my single lenses at the 1st floor. I am wicked hot and exhausted after I picked up my niece. I need to cool down some before I do anymore stairs. And besides, my ankle is not happy with me right now. I have been out of the house since a little past 8 in the morning because I wanted to get my haircut before my doctor’s appointment. I didn’t get the same stylist so I got a much different cut. I still like it but not as much as my last cut. This cut just looks like I have a whiffle.
I meant to call my father today so he could pick up his prescription but it got to be too late. I will just pick it up for him tomorrow when I see him. His asshole PCP’s RN never called me. I had to call the pharmacy to see if they called it in. I have only been waiting three days for a phone call that never came. Jerks.
Last night, I had a rough bit. I am only going on about 4 hours of sleep. I am so tired. I might have a nap now that I don’t have to do anything. Except go down the stairs and get my glasses. I can’t believe I left them down there. I have been texting my therapist my mood status updates. I told her to call me if she has a chance. I don’t think it is likely. We are talking tomorrow but I really want to talk to her today, if possible. I don’t know what she can do but at least it might calm me down some. My thoughts are all over the place. One minute I want to take my life, the next I don’t. It is getting tiring fighting these feeling all of a sudden.
I also been getting pissed at seeing an article on pain saying “instead of reaching for a pill, play your playlist”. Apparently there was a study, among children who required major surgery and they offered music as an alternative to pain medication. The results were positive. But these were children, not adults. I certainly will not benefit from listening to music rather than taking a pain pill. And if anyone suggests that to me, I am going to tell them to go fuck themselves. I have tried coping with the pain without pills and it gets me no where but stuck. I then have to take more medication to get it down to a tolerable level for me. And I do this while playing music. I don’t listen to with it with headphones. I am alone in my room and so I am not going to bother anybody. Besides I need to also listen to my mother in case she falls or something so headphones are out. I do notice that I am a lot more calmer when I am listening to music than if I am not. It doesn’t take all the anxiety away but just enough so it is tolerable.
I took a shower last night so I didn’t have to today but looks like I am going to because I am all sweaty from the fucking heat. Yes, I am complaining about the heat, shoot me dead. I don’t fucking care. I never complained about it being cold, except for when my room was forming icicles and I couldn’t get warm with added clothing AND being under two blankets.
I am going to get my new glasses done Friday. I would do it tomorrow but I have too much stuff to do. Just running around with my father and then picking up my niece is going to be enough. I just hope my ankle holds out. I bought my father his Father’s day present today. Hopefully, I remember to bring it tomorrow. As long as I am not rushed, I should be ok. I plan on going another way to my father’s so it should be ok. I am glad there are multiple ways of getting to my father’s house because taking one bus all the time can be boring and time delaying, like it was last week. I just barely made it home for my therapist to call me. I was half way home when she called. I don’t want a repeat of that again.
I want to get an estimate on how much these glasses are going to cost me. I will just be paying for the lenses, not the frames as I already have those. I just hope they are able to do the work or I will have to find another place. I am not paying for another set of frames when I have a perfectly good one that is less than a year old.
midnightdemons7 