Lot of Walking Thursday
I went to my father’s like I do every week. He needed some more baby aspirin but bought the wrong kind. I told him after I filled his pills for the week I would go to Stop and Shop and exchange them. It was really hot out and I really didn’t feel like doing it but I had to. So I walked both ways and was a soaking mess by the time I got back to his apartment. I dropped off the pills and then told him he would have two to pick up tomorrow. He waved me off because his girlfriend was there. Fine, don’t get your fucking pills. I don’t care. I just want to be back in my room where it’s ice cold.
I come home and there is a letter from my PCP’s office. I am to have a physical Tuesday and they want blood work before hand. WTF I have only two business days to get it. Why couldn’t they send the damn papers in last week when I had my appointment with my psychiatrist? I could have been fasting then. Damn idiots. I hate the medical assistant for my PCP. She is nice in person but a dunce in every other respect. I also have a questionnaire to fill out. This is new. I have been with the same PCP for the past 12 years or more and I have never had a questionnaire or blood work done before my appointment. The lab slip is prefilled so I cannot even ask my psych if she wants anything. She hasn’t given me blood work in a while either. I will email her now and see if she wants anything because I am not going to get stuck twice.
I am pretty tired and I haven’t had coffee. It’s kind of late to have a cup now. I was going to have one before I left for my father’s but I woke up too late. After I had breakfast at 0700, I went back to sleep and kept on having weird dreams, which didn’t give me restful sleep. I kept on dreaming that I had to go to the bathroom and when I woke up, I really had to go. My phone rang and I thought it was my father calling so I got up. It was Walgreens. They didn’t leave me a message but I know what it was about. They had given me just 15 pills yesterday instead of 180. Why they even bothered filling the prescription is beyond my understanding.
Other than feeling tired, that is all I feel. My left shoulder hurts and I don’t know why. I feel like I am breaking down, physically and mentally. I really can’t wait to have therapy back next week. I miss my therapist, even though she drives me crazy. I am not looking forward to having three sessions with her but I can’t wait till she is back. There is just something about knowing that she is available to talk to that I miss. When she isn’t available, it’s very hard to settle the feelings.
It’s now toward the end of the week and I still haven’t started “Order of the Phoenix”. I wanted to start today but I don’t think that is likely, least not for the next few hours anyways. I might start on in it before bed. I still have other journal articles to read and print out. They deal with suicide, my favorite subject. I have some rumination articles that I like to read. Since being a member of the American Association of Suicidology again, I have saved some old articles that are worth looking at.
I just am feeling pressure to read because I was on a roll and now it seems to have stopped for some reason. Maybe I just needed a break but I love Harry Potter and usually gobble his books up. I hope the depression isn’t returning. That would so suck right now. I am going to take a nap. Maybe I will have more energy afterwards and can read.
midnightdemons7 