Author: Midnight Demon

Saturday Blog 19082023

I had another bad night sleeping so I wrote some stuff that was on my mind. I sent my psychiatrist my blog I wrote. I was going to send it to my therapist but she never reads what I send her so I didn’t. I am feeling really sad. I’ve been thinking about the last week my mother was alive. I was trying to take care of her while recovering from top surgery. It was hard to do. I had to empty drains and usually she would just be sleeping when I went downstairs. By the time the weekend rolled around, she was hitting the death phase and by Tues, a week after I had my surgery, she was gone.

I have no energy today to do anything. I made pancakes and then a roast beef sandwich. I am full now. My sister has been after me to clean the pan I made the pancakes on. I will do it once I get the energy.  It is soaking now so should be easy to clean afterwards. I had two cups of coffee but it didn’t do anything. Sox were already playing a day game. They won against the skankees. I hope they can continue to do well. There are only 40 games or so left in the season.

Monday I see my therapist and might share the blog in session with her. Depends if I feel like dealing with my feelings. Just is so hard to figure things out now that my mother is dead. I am tired but I am going to stay up for a couple of hours to read some. I sent my pcp this pic. I hope she can understand that even though I often don’t present in pain, I still hurt. It hurts walking most times as my legs feel like they are cement. I don’t know how she will take it but I don’t care. I put it out there so that there is a record of it. I hope she understands.