What are your future travel plans?
To see my friend in Chicago and then go to Canada to see my BFF.
Category: blogging
Euphoria hit me today
Just got my haircut. Little boy on the bus was staring at me and I was wondering if he was thinking I was a boy or girl and had to stop myself. I am a boy and I nearly wept as my chest was throbbing. The euphoria was finally hitting me. I wondered if I would ever feel it since my mother’s death. I looked at my photo I took and posted on an FTM support groups. A member said they see a grown man, complete with a male hairline. I am losing my hair and the pic kind of looks like a comb over that my sister pointed out. I don’t care. I still think I look good. I have issues with my body. My stomach is giving me such dysphoria since the binders have been off. I haven’t gained weight but I haven’t lost any either, which is frustrating. I have been cutting calories to no effect. I know I haven’t been active either but it’s a slippery slope with my foot. Any big active days such as walking more than 5 blocks hurts me. My limit is 0.4 miles, anything more than that and I am in pain.
Today has been a rough day due to headaches. I woke up a couple times after dreaming with them. I told my psychiatris about it and he doesn’t have answers. I need to see a neurologist. I had one. I need to call to see if I still do. I had a skipped appt with her back when I was catatonic so don’t know if they kicked me out because of it. It has been thundering and downpouring the past couple of hours so my head hurts. Not sure if it is a migraine or not. I need a nap. I am tired.
My internet was not connecting well today so m psychiatrist called me. We talked about meds. He wants to play with my Latuda and I told him we could but I could become psychotic again with a lower dose or stopping it. He wants to bring the Effexor dose up but until I have my neuro appt, he is holding off.
Gonna stop here. My head is hurting too much.
Quiet Monday 24072023
I woke up to my med alarm but didn’t get up until an hour later when my bladder said get up NOW. I got up to pee. Went back to my room to take my meds, Went back downstairs to brush my teeth. Then I made coffee. My sister was home and was helping my niece rearrange the room. I stayed out of the way and went to the kitchen for coffee. I had two cups before returning to my room.
I had therapy soon. I had no idea what to talk about as I woke up kind of still sleepy and headachy. It was not a productive session. I was talking about random things that happened since we last met but nothing to talk about in depth.
After therapy, I tried to take a nap. But I had to pee again. Went and then I had some cake my sister made. It was good. I needed to eat something but didn’t know what. I went on the porch and my ramen noodles were gone. So was my Velveeta mac and cheese. I found some rice so I made that. It was ok. I wish I had chicken breast so I could roast it. With some potatoes too. But I didn’t have it. I need to buy some. I probably will next week.
My check wasn’t deposited in my account today. Hope it will tomorrow as I set up an appointment with my barber for a haircut. I’d hate to cancel.
What do you listen to while you work? #WPDP
What do you listen to while you work?
I am currently listening to Speak Now Taylor’s Version in everything I do.
midnightdemons7 
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