I scored today on Kindle with getting Dostoevsky’s works for just $1.99 and one of his short stories for $0.99. The works included his big works like the Brother’s Karamazov and Crime and Punishment. I couldn’t pass it up. I would have spent more on those two alone than just the full works. I am very happy. I just hope they are in the full version and not a half ass book. You never know with Kindle because you have to go through all the pages to see it. The first work they have is the Brothers, which is a big volume. Only thing I don’t like about the kindle, least the one that I have, is that I can’t say get to page 100 without scrolling through 100 pages. I just haven’t mastered how the thing works. It is an app, not the kindle itself. I should ask my sister how to get through the thing. But what really bothers me is that there was no title page for the entire collection. It just started with the Brothers and that was it! I guess that will be my next reading when I finish the Idiot. I love reading Fyodor!
I am in mega pain. And what is worse, is that I can’t rest tomorrow like I should. The doctor messed up my father’s pills so I need to go to the pharmacy and get it for my father. He is also out of one his medications. I misjudged how much was left in the bottle. So that is my fault. I have to put the pills in because he isn’t going to know what pills to fucking take. It is so annoying.
I don’t know why I am continuing to be on Facebook. There is so much negativity and bullshit, and you can’t get away from Memes!! Seems people can’t write their own statuses anymore, they just MEME them to death! I like Twitter for this reason. It’s original. Sure you have the memes there, too, but they aren’t in abundance like FB. Since my game ended, I have been bored silly. I guess that is why I am writing and reading more. Though even though I do have the time to read, I haven’t finished that many books this year. I have completed maybe three? I should start a spreadsheet on when I start a book and when I finish it. Goodreads was ok, but it doesn’t really give you a start date. It generally thinks you start reading the day you entered the book, which might not be accurate. I can’t change that date. So starting a spreadsheet might be helpful.
Last night, I got really suicidal. I didn’t do anything, but I really wanted to. It kind of scared me. I wrote about it in my new Hyde Notebook. It was too powerful to write on a blog. Plus, the information I wrote about, I really don’t want coming back to haunt me. So it’s just in black and white in this notebook. I am trying my hand at containing the darkness in one place. I was wicked tired, drugged up from my pain medication, and in severe pain. The perfect storm for Hyde to come out but he didn’t. I wrote what I did and then I went to sleep. I don’t remember what I wrote exactly but I do remember the gist of the writings. I was in compete control of the writing and I didn’t dissociate. I just wrote one page because I was so tired. If the meds weren’t working the way they did, I probably would have written more.
I am down to the last three chapters of the “Idiot”. I am sad to see this book end but also happy that I am finished with it. I should be done with it tonight, if I get the inclination to read the last thirty or so pages. I would have finished it last night, but I got too tired from pain meds and was in too much pain to think straight. It’s so hard to read when you don’t feel well. I think that is why my number of books is so low. I just haven’t been able to put in the mental stuff required for reading, and because I am in pain most of the time, it’s just hard. Some book are easier to read than others. Like I enjoyed reading “The Graveyard Book”. It took me a few days to read, where it has taken me three weeks to finish the Idiot. But it’s a longer book than the Graveyard. I don’t know what it is with me and large books. They take forever to read and then I get frustrated half way through. Like the stupid Battle Cry for Freedom. 900 pages of words and took me almost a year or more to finish. And because I was reading it, I didn’t read anything else, even though I usually have two books I am reading at the same time. I really want to get back into the “Reagan Diaries”. That was an interesting book. I read a quarter of it before I got interested in other things. Hamilton is another book that I started but never finished. Again another 900 or so page book. It was a difficult book to read though. It didn’t have spot in it that you can pause. It was just one long ramble. I have no idea where that book went. I think it is in the Hamper that I have been meaning to clean out but haven’t gotten to. It won’t be today because my ankle is screaming at me. Won’t be tomorrow either because of the deal with my father. So it will just sit there while I look at the mess.
midnightdemons7 