Tag: marathon bombings

baseball and burials

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball

Again not having a good day. Woke up at 0630 this morning to pain in my foot. Took pain pills and went back to sleep and tried not to oversleep as I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. Got up around ten, showered and got dressed. Decided to wear my AFO today with my shorts as today was hot out and I didn’t want to have a day like yesterday. Half way through my drink at Starbucks, my psychiatrist emails me to reschedule our appointment. I was kind of pissed.

Then I get the twitter feed about the stupid burial of the fucking terrorist has been sent to a cemetery in Virginia and I thought finally, there is some closure to this fucker. NOPE. The media had to stick their fucking noses in it with questions to the county, who didn’t even know the guy was going to get buried there. WTF. Cremate his fucking ass already. He isn’t a damn Christain. His body is already almost a month old and I know embalming is good but he must be decomposing while he waits this out. I am not saying I feel for the guy. I just want to stop hearing about how so many places have denied his burial. HE IS A TERRORIST. HE SHOULD BE CREMATED TO BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. He killed four innocent people and injured 176 other innocent people, some of whom have lost their limbs because of this asshole. Burying him is going to promote vandalism on his grave. I know I would like to piss on his grave. Fucker doesn’t belong in the ground.

Then I get another tweet about my beloved Sox and how they are getting scrutinized for playing good baseball for the month of April. Clay Buchholz gets named AL player of the month and then is accused of doctoring the baseball. WTF that is the most stupidest thing I have ever heard and it was not an umpire. It wasn’t the MLB. It wasn’t even a player or manager of the opposing team that accused him. It was a fucking reporter for the Blue Jays because we kicked their ass playing GOOD baseball. Then because David Ortiz went on a hitting streak, he gets accused by a BOSTON media announcer for using PEDs. Since the accusations, my Sox can’t win a game. They are currently on a losing streak and even though they are tied for first place, that holding might end. Tonight we play the Blue Jays again. Lester is on the mound.

My city gets bombed. And now my home team is getting accused of misdemeanors. I don’t know how much more I can take. I am an avid baseball fan. I love baseball. It is the one thing that brings me joy, even if my boys lose. I am still happy to watch the game. But come on. Leave them alone. If Ortiz is using, the MLB will find out. If Buchholz is doctoring the baseball, they will find out. But the mentality has shifted. I hope things turn around for them. Players are afraid to do good because they don’t want to get accused of something that they are not doing. It is killing me to have my players, my TEAM in this rut because the media needs a damn story. I don’t know what happened to checking the facts before sending out a story. I think that has gone out the window. And it is hurting the players and the game.

Post Marathon feelings part 2

by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide attempt

Boston had a good sports night. All three teams won, Bruins (hockey), Celtics (basketball), and Red Sox (baseball). I feel pretty good that they won. I also am amazed that people with my condition have a resilience that goes deeper than the injury of cauda equina syndrome. A friend of mine is going to have surgery to close her stoma for the bladder that she has had for the past several years. Her doctor thinks that because of MRSA it is not closing properly so it needs to be debrided. So far she seems to be in good spirits but I know I would be in a different place having to deal with that. I can’t imagine what she is going through but I understand it.

I am still having a hard time with the bombing attack on my city. Today, three more people were arrested in connection with the bombings. I thought it was over but it is not. I don’t know when it will end. Tonight the Red Sox gave up five home runs and each of them were considered “bombs” and I just shuttered. I can’t even hear the word anymore without it taking me back to what happened just two weeks ago. I had to unfollow one of my tweets because they were just scaring me. It was like every feed had a new twist in the bombings. I wish they didn’t have to be so public about. I wish the media would tone down the story just a bit. It can make you crazy, like I am just thinking about it. My dreams are still filled with remnants of the bombings. I can’t listen to a motorcycle without thinking it’s gunfire. My brain just can’t shut off unless I am heavily drugged some nights but that is because the pain in my leg hurts so bad.

The other night I really wanted to do some damage to it. And I don’t mean roughing it up. I wanted to take a razor and slice it open, hoping that the part that is swollen would have some release and would ooze out. But I know medically it is probably deeper than superficial and I would have to cut deep and probably would end up really hurting my tendon that way. But the thought of doing it calms me down. I can imagine what it might feel like and feel the blood dripping, if at all. Since I have decreased sensation I wonder if I will really feel any of these things or if I don’t, I will feel it later when the nerve messages reaches my brain like when I stub my foot. It can take over an hour for it to hit me. And then I am like WTF is that. Then I remember I hit my foot. Doesn’t make any sense I know but that is what I have to live with.

Totally random thoughts: I had a craving today for chips and salsa with guacamole. It was pretty good but now I am thinking how to keep the guac from turning brown. I am glad I have google to help me with this.

scary day

by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide attempt

I am in a state of shock. Two police officers were shot early this morning by the Marathon bombers. One of the suspects is dead and the other is on the loose. They were brothers. I can’t watch the news anymore because I am afraid something dreadful is going to happen. The apartment they have found explosives in their apartment. I just hope that it is not booby trapped of any kind. There was also a shoot out this morning and I am hoping suspect number 2 is hurt. They found a large blood stain on a house in one of the cities in lock down. But still this person is at large and I don’t know if the police really know where the suspect is hiding or where he is. News reporters are not saying that, just that police are blocking off the streets for public safety.

I am kind of scared that this is happening. One if the cities is the next town over from me. I know exactly where the street is they are talking about because I have been on the main street where it is off of many times. It is not far from Cambridge city Hospital. I don’t know if that hospital is on alert. It should be.

Because I don’t have a car, I am stuck in my house. Not that I would be going anywhere anyways. The cities are in lockdown almost. I am hoping the guy doesn’t come into my city. But it looks like he still is on the outskirts of town, possibly. No one knows for sure.

Then a guy down the street started up his motorcycle and I thought it was gunfire! I have been a wreck ever since. I am so scared of a bomb going off near me and hearing it would just kill me. I fear for those law enforcement officers who have come from neighboring towns and the state police and FBI agents that are going through every piece of evidence they are getting from the suspects house. I just hope that there are no booby traps and everyone comes out safely. There are already two officers hurt, one killed by the fuckers. Least one suspect is dead. No we just got to get the younger one.