Woke up to my phone sounding emergency broadcast. Scared the hell out of me and then I heard a big BOOM of thunder. Wicked bad rain and flash floods in my area. Just wonderful on a cloudy Sunday.
I also woke up to my back hurting me and of course my ankle. I just took a shower so it really doesn’t like me right now. But I had to take a shower as it has been days since my last one. I was feeling pretty gross.
Today I am supposed to meet up with a friend for the movies. I hope my ankle pain has stopped by then. I also am planning on going to the grocery store to get the ingredients needed to make my cupcakes. I really want to do something today rather than just lay in bed resting my ankle. I know that going to the store and then making the cupcakes are going to hurt me big time. I am not looking forward to it. What is worse is that my sister is having a BBQ today. I don’t see how as the weather has on and off downpours for the next several hours. She wants me to bring the cupcakes. I don’t know how I am going to do all this. And just the thought of it is stressing me out. Stress and already being in pain is not a good thing. I just put a brace on my ankle. Pain is getting unreal but I don’t want to take more pain meds because I have things to do today. I just want to go to the grocery store and get the supplies I need for these damn cupcakes. But I just heard thunder rolling again so maybe today is not going to be the day to go.
I also have to write four pages for my book. I thought today I would talk about the struggle of being transgender. I don’t know if I can stretch it to four pages but I can try. Or I might talk about something else. What, I have no friggen idea.
I am mad crazy listening to Luke Bryan’s new CD Crash my party. There is not a song I don’t like. I have listened to one song, Play it again, over and over and over. Guess you can say I have been playing it again and again. Or as Luke says Agin! He has become one of my favorite male artists. I don’t know why I like him so much. He just has a good voice and his songs get me into a good mood. It’s like listening to Taylor Swift when I am having a bad day. Crash my Party is by far the song that gets me all mushy inside when I hear it.
I did too much. I went to the grocery store and then picked up my prescription. No movie tonight. No cupcakes made. Just listening to the ball game now and trying to relax. I am in so much pain. I feel really bad for my friend that wants to see me. I can’t even bring myself to call him back. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be able to do all the things I wanted to do today. I know I went up and down the stairs too much. Not only does walking around the grocery store did me in but going to and from my sister’s apartment did also. I just can’t win and it gets me really depressed. It really sucks to not have use of your feet.
I know I should call my friend and let him know that I am useless today. I know either way he will be disappointed. I hate disappointing people. But I can’t do too much on my feet anymore today. I need to rest my ankle otherwise I am going to be in more pain. And I can’t be going down the stairs anymore. Even though I really want to go downstairs and watch a DVR program. I am really upset with myself. I hate that I can’t do more than just take my shower, go to the grocery store and then I have to rest because I am in pain. It’s not that I am exhausted and need to rest. I still have energy but I just can’t STAND. I can’t WALK. It is just that I am in PAIN. It is a 9 and I really don’t want it to get above a 9 because I will really be in agony, more so than I am in now. I have a high pain tolerance. Usually anything above a 7 will get me to slow down. But I feel energetic so I am pushing myself. But now I have pushed myself too much. I hate that I have energy and can’t do anything with it. I feel so bad. I even took a pain med before I took a shower hoping to keep my pain in check but it didn’t do anything. I took another pill after I came home from the grocery store and still my pain has not calmed down, though it has calmed my nerves down. I really, really hate this. I honestly have no idea how I was able to work two jobs with this pain. I know I ignore most of it but I guess when you don’t have anything to distract you, you think about it more. I am not saying the pain is in my head. I know it is not. If I touch my ankle, I will scream. Right now it is feeling a little better now that I have it elevated and not putting any type of pressure on it.
I am going to stop here because I still need to write up some pages for my book. Until tomorrow…
midnightdemons7 