Sore as all hell
I woke up around 0630 this morning. I was still in pain so I took my meds and then played my game until I passed out again. I only slept for about two hours. When I got up, both my legs were sore from yesterday’s excursion. My calves feel so damn sore it is not funny and they are both tight. Stretching them just causes me pain. I have been do it little by little all day to try and get them to loosen up to no avail. I wish I had a bathtub. I think the hot water would help my legs so much. But I don’t. My ankle and foot are still swollen, though not as much as last night. They still hurt more than my calves. I am glad I decided not to go anywhere today. Only thing I planned on doing was calling a junk towing place to get my junk car but I didn’t even do that so FAIL.
Last night, I was going through my twitter feed and one of the anti-suicide organizations had a tweet that really pissed me off. The tweet said “suicide should never be an option”. BULLSHIT. You mean to tell me someone dying from the indignity of say Parkinson’s disease shouldn’t have the right to end their life when the time came? BULLSHIT. Or if they were dying from terminal cancer? Or ALS? I can go on, but I think you have my point. Sure, someone with depression *may* not have that as an option but in all humanity, it should remain as an option. I don’t want to live in a world where it isn’t. I know there is a 100% chance of me developing Alzheimer’s disease. I have the genes from BOTH sides of my family. If I become too much of a burden on my nieces and nephew, I want the option to kill myself. Or I will move to a state where assisted suicide is allowed by law. Course, that is if I don’t take my life before then.
I have many reasons for contemplating suicide. I live in chronic physical pain every day. I know suicide will be the cause of my death one day. I can’t picture myself living to “old” age, whatever that is now a days. I am 38 yet I feel like I am 90. I ache something fierce every single day. And if it is not one thing, it’s another.
Another thing that pisses me off about the anti-suicide campaigns is that they want zero (0) suicides. Again, they are living in a dream world. Sure, we can hope that the rate decreases, I am all for that, but to have zero suicide? That is just unrealistic to me. There is always going to be someone that ends up dying by suicide some where in the world. It’s just the way humans are.
midnightdemons7 