I had therapy today, like I do every Wednesday, unless she is on vacation or something else interferes with our time. We talked mostly about my father, again. By mid session, I wanted to talk about something else but couldn’t think of anything so we talked more about him. It wasn’t an analytical discussion. Just about how draining he is to me and my welfare. She doesn’t know how I can tolerate him despite my hate for him. I guess he still has his hold on me because there would be hell to pay if I didn’t tolerate him.
We also talked about how back my back got last night and this morning. I really just wanted to die. The pain was excruciating and all I did was lie down! I woke up from my nap and I couldn’t move, the pain was so damn bad. But I had to take my night meds and when I got up, it was like someone had stabbed me in the back. My hip was on fire. There was nothing I could do for it. I had to stand to take my meds. What I would have given for a nurse to come bedside to hand me my meds last night. I was tortured the whole time I took the 10 or 12 pills I take. I was up most of the night in pain, and I swear, I woke up soon as the pain meds wore off, which was every four to five hours. I never called the doctor like I was supposed to. And tomorrow doesn’t look good for me to call him either because I have to deal with my dear old father for most of the morning. My therapist asked if I should see someone. I don’t know anymore. I see my doc on Monday, so will tell him what has been going on for the past several weeks and see what he thinks I should do. I know that I am NOT going to see two different PTs. I refuse to see one for my ankle and one for my back. I know I just need the “right” exercise to get a stretch out of my back and I will be fine.
I’m still fighting a cold as my nasal discharge has been running wild lately as well as having a damn cough. I know the cough is not doing me any favors with my back pain. I just feel really run down. I know part of it is because I haven’t been sleeping well most of the week. Monday I woke up at 0530 and didn’t go to bed until late. And last night I was up every few hours because I had to change position. It was so tough sleeping last night. And once I am up, I am pretty much up for a while. It takes me forever to get back to sleep. I finally gave up today when my app for my meds kept dinging for my morning pills. I guess it’s good that I have the app or I would forget to take my pills. Not so much for my night meds as I know I have to take my hormone pill or I am screwed. Missing that dose just screws up my reproductive system and I don’t really want my menses showing up this month. It has shown up every year at this time for the past three years. I would really love to skip this month. That would be the greatest birthday present mother nature could give me!
Today, someone who found my blog, wrote on one of my support groups, looking for information on my book. I gave her the UK link for Amazon.com. I had to google it because I didn’t know what the domain was. Anyway, she found me on Facebook and she bought my book. It is probably going to be my only sale for the month. Sales have been terrible this month, but then I haven’t been promoting my book like I did last month. It’s hard work tweeting all the time for the week that I had my Kindle version for 99 cents. If I knew how hard it was going to be to sell my book, I would have saved up some money to have it published with an agent or something. I thought that Amazon would help but if they do, I don’t see it. And it was by chance I saw that my book was named the Editor’s pick of the year. I am glad I took a photo of it because it’s no longer there on my Amazon page. From what I gather from some author groups on Facebook, it all depends on how many people like your author page on Amazon on which book Amazon promotes. Unfortunately, I am not that tech savvy to find out what that page is to have people like it. Even on the Author’s page link it doesn’t have anything on it. Probably because I have not put anything on it because I don’t know how. I think I found it once but don’t ask me how I did it. And if there is a like, it’s the only like because I liked my own page! It’s so frustrating. I am thinking of putting my book on the Nook and iBook some time in 2015 so that maybe I can have better sales. But the process is like Amazon’s Createspace. I would have to create profiles for those formats and there is no guarantee that it will sell better than my current profile.