Lot of walking today
I finally got my new glasses today. And again it took two trips to the store. I should have stayed in the Square because when I got to my home square, the place called me saying the second pair was ready. Now I can see without straining my eyes. I love the sunglasses. They are just dark enough, the way I like it. But to get there and to do an errand, I did a lot of walking and stair climbing. My ankle really hates me right now. I will probably pay the price later tonight. Walking to my friend’s place was longer than I remembered. And he didn’t tell me his office was on the 3rd floor. Bugger. But I did my good deed for the day.
It was really hot out today. I was a sweaty mess by the time I came home. I am going to have to shower. I am glad I didn’t before I went out. I hate when you take a shower and then become all hot and sweaty and need another one.
I had therapy today. I don’t remember too much about what was said. I am very tired from my exertions. My legs feel like rubber. We did talk about my blog for a little bit and about writing a second book. This lady thinks I can just produce books like they were going out of style. It’s been a year since my first book. And I am slowly working on my second. It’s just hard when you feel like killing yourself every fucking day of your life. It’s like why bother. I was hit with an idea for another short story. I got as far as a title and that was it. The title is the character in the book. I haven’t decided how I am going to write it. And I still don’t know if I will be infringing on rights of the Stargate show by writing this story. I might just publish it on my blog, though, just so I don’t collect a cent from it, just in case.
I am very tired and I hope that I sleep tonight, till at least eight tomorrow morning. I am so sick of waking up before six most mornings. It’s just a really long day, especially when I can’t go back to sleep. I go to bed late to try and stave off waking up early but it doesn’t matter. Once I have my few hours of sleep, I am up. I honestly don’t remember the last time I slept for at least six hours straight.
Last night, I had a trigger. My delusions are back and so are the damn voices, and not my usual kind. I might end up in the hospital this go round, if things don’t improve. I am really paranoid today. On the way home, the bus was getting full and I just felt like everyone’s eyes were on me. I couldn’t wait for my stop to get off the bus. Because I am feeling psychotic, the new book I wanted to read, “Lethal Code”, I am holding off. It has to deal with conspiracy and cyber wars. Not a book I should be reading right now, even though it may seem like a benign book. I just don’t want to become more delusional than I already am. I know the trigger for me was talk about Islam or ISIS or both. I don’t remember what exactly set me off. I know I was talking to my friend Chris about the delusions on Friday and maybe that wasn’t a good idea because I am still convinced the leaders of the ISIS group are being controlled by aliens. And they want Americans so they can behead them. I am very scared that this might happen with an invasion in our country.
midnightdemons7 