I had coffee today as I stole some half and half from my sister. Despite having a large cup, I am wicked exhausted. I slept pretty well but I think the Neurontin that I took last night is having its hangover effect. And I just took one pill. My ankle has been acting up all day. Thunderstorms just started so I think that is why. My ankle doesn’t like rain. It’s still hot and humid with the house being hotter than it is outside. I have been staying in my room as much as possible but my damn bowels have been acting up so I have been having to go up and down the stairs a lot. My ankle doesn’t like that either.
I feel like someone stunned me. I have no feelings at all. I feel blank. The good feelings that I had yesterday are gone. Now I feel numb. I really want to take a nap but my knee keeps having this sharp pain whenever I lie down. It is annoying because it doesn’t last long and when I rub it, it’s not there anymore. I don’t know why I have this pain. I have been resting in my bed for most of the day so there is no reason for it to hurt. If I didn’t know any better, I say it was nerve pain. But all my problems have been on the left side and it’s my right knee that hurts. Just doesn’t make any sense. I hope it doesn’t come back. I have no pain while walking or going up and down stairs. It seems it hurt when I am at rest, which doesn’t make any sense. But then, I am a weirdo when it comes to weird things happening.
My physiatrist’s office has been calling to confirm my appointment twice already. If I was going to cancel, I would have called. I am a responsible patient. I just hope it’s a little bit cooler tomorrow. I still haven’t decided if I am going to go to the writing workshop tomorrow. It is going to take a lot of spoons to get there and then to my doctor’s appointment in this hot weather. I just hope my ankle can take the walking it is going to take. I would rest on Thursday but I have to go to my father’s for refills of meds. My weekly duty to him. I don’t stay too long. Just fill his pill box and then skedaddle.
I’m really feeling like a nap is in order. But my mother will be making dinner soon so I can’t. I probably will after I had dinner, if I can. She is making stir fry chicken. It’s usually good and spicy. I just hope she makes rice.
I didn’t think I was going to do it, but I started writing a letter to my therapist to inform her of what is going on. It’s basically what I wrote in the blogs yesterday about the hypomanic episode and my failure to sleep at the time I wanted to (before midnight). I find it so hard to set a sleep routine. I usually am always up around midnight but then there are some nights where I am asleep by ten. It all depends on what I am doing, which is why I am not looking forward to tomorrow’s activities. I hope tonight will be easier to go to sleep and not wake up before seven.
I hope my sisters are ok where they are. They went to water country today but thunderstorms have been going on for the past hour or so. They might be on their way home. It would have been nice if they invited me. I would have loved to go. I haven’t been there in years, not since my days of working with kids. That was more than twenty years ago. But they never seem to want to include me in any of the events they go to. I always feel left out. Of course, money is probably the issue as I am almost always broke. It sucks.
There has been a conference today about suicide prevention. It is being held in Houston, Texas. I have been following the live tweeting. Jobes was there to promote his CAMS method. I love this guy so much. He always has new information to share. There are currently five studies going on using CAMS. I can’t wait to see the outcome of those studies.
midnightdemons7 