Addicted to Mr. Misunderstood

Addicted to Mr. Misunderstood

Since buying Eric Church’s latest album, I have been listening to it nonstop. The harmonies and lyrics just resonate with me. While I was driving down to see my cousin today and especially while driving back, I was jonesing for the music. It was the first time that I ever wanted to listen to my music over the radio. It’s been a week and I am getting used to the songs and they run through my head and I will have to listen to a song.

My meet up with my cousins went well. We had a good time. I really didn’t want to leave but it was getting late and the traffic was bad. They had a football and hockey game today so there was a lot of traffic. Once we passed the city, it was smooth sailing. My cousin gave me some stuff of my Godfather’s. It was nice of her to give me his school yearbook and other little things. She even gave me my favorite cookies that I like. She doesn’t help my diet. I told her I am just a cookie monster when it comes to cookies. I am sure they won’t last long as well as the other goodies she gave me.

OSU lost today. Their first loss of the season. It made me sad as their winning streak came to an end. I really thought that they would stay undefeated but they were playing a tough team.

I came home and got really cold. I needed to catch some sleep. I didn’t mean to nap. I just wanted to get warmed up, take my meds and then fall asleep for the night. That what was running through my mind anyway. Didn’t happen. Now I am awake and can’t really sleep. I hope I get to sleep soon. This staying up most of the night and then sleeping during the day sucks. Fucking pissed me off the other day when my mother came into my room to “check” on me because I didn’t answer her phone call. I was sleeping and she fucking woke me up. She just doesn’t get that I don’t sleep at night. I have tried telling her this and all I get is that I am lazy. Just depresses me further.

There won’t be a quote for today. I just haven’t the energy to find one. My heart is just too heavy.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in blogging, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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