Really dog tired

Really Dog Tired

I woke up at a decent hour today and I am still feeling like I can sleep for days. I did a few things today that needed to be done and it exhausted me. I have no idea why I am so tired, unless all the sleep deprivation over the last few weeks have finally caught up with me. I went to Walgreens and that really wore me out. My mother asked what I wanted for supper and I said nothing. I just am not hungry. I had a semi big breakfast and I am still full from that. Seems whenever I have potatoes for breakfast, it lasts longer than eating a muffin sandwich alone. Think I will have a peanut butter and muffin sandwich for dinner.

I have been texting my therapist all day. I am very upset that someone opened a checking and savings account in my name. I had to report it to the fraudulent department to close the accounts. Then I had to report it to the credit agencies just in case they open another account in my name. I am very careful about keeping my personal information private so I don’t know what happened. It was a good thing the idiot that did this didn’t know my mother’s maiden name. That saved me because all the other information was correct. Fucking scary.

I will be seeing my therapist this week. I hope so anyways. I am going to reserve a car first thing in the morning for Wednesday. I have found that if you reserve in advance, the chances of having a car are better than reserving say an hour before you want it.

I haven’t had coffee today, though I did plan on making it. I can’t make it now because it’s late in the afternoon. Tomorrow I am going to get another bag of the Brazil Sertaozinho. I love that coffee so much and as long as they have it, I will buy it. My mother thinks I am crazy for buying it, but after a few cups, the bag pays for itself.

I watched the performance of Luke Bryan and Karen Fairchild on the American Music Awards. It was the only thing I wanted to watch. I then deleted the program. It was a good performance and I like the song. I hope they release it on the radio. I took an Eric Church break today and just played Luke Bryan, mostly just his song “Just Over”.

I have to take a shower sometime tonight. I just don’t think I will have the energy to. I will have to force myself to. I hate that because it’s just so draining. Maybe I will feel better if I do take one. I have been feeling like I am catching a cold or something. I hope I am not because it will suck. I took some extra vitamin D last night, just in case I am. Shit I was just thinking, I have to go over my father’s and do his pills a day earlier because Thursday is Thanksgiving. Fuck. That means that I can’t see my therapist. It will have to be next week when I see her. Dammit. I’m going back to bed.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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