Headache that won’t go away

Since I woke up this morning, I had a headache. I’ve taken Tylenol and my migraine pill but I still got this stupid headache. I can’t take advil because I take an NSAID. I wish I was home.

I we t to two groups today. The first was about positive psychology. It was a dumb group. The second was group therapy. Most of the people there talked about losing family members. It zoned me out a bit because it brought up losing my father. One woman, who I told I lost my father recently, asked if I was okay. It kind of pissed me off. I didn’t want to talk about the loss. I didn’t feel comfortable in the group. But I talked a little about how “great” my father was.

I haven’t touched the essay I am writing about the last two hours of his death. I had brought that up in group but I didn’t elaborate on what it was about. I haven’t been in a writing mood today because of this headache. I am going to try writing about it later, that is if the sleeps don’t get a hold of me. I have been sleeping since 1430 and just got up to have dinner and write a blog. I didn’t sleep good last night. I was able to get an ativan prn. That might help.

I was shocked that one of the nurses read my New York Times article. I don’t know how he knew as he wasn’t my contact and I didn’t tell him. He told me it was amazing. I am really proud of the piece. I’d link it to this blog but I am on my phone and don’t know how. If you search for love, Hate and suicide you can find it. That is the title of the article. I also have a blog under that name that has the link.

I talked with my mother. She was shocked that I have to be here a week for my “medication adjustment”. She doesn’t understand psych meds. Course I didn’t tell her it was a psych med. But then I am at a psych hospital. She thought I was in Cambridge for some reason. I don’t know what her thinking was. My sister called me after my mother did. I was in group so didn’t have my phone. I had called my sis last night and meant to call her back but I had an attack of the sleeps.

I had a good sleep but unfortunately, only slept till 0230. I was up for a few hours before I finally went back to sleep. I slept 3 hours more and have been up since. I took a shower and brushed my teeth. Getting hot water here takes so damn long. I must have waited at least 20 mins for the water to get hot. I’m just glad I had a chair to sit and wait.

My social worker is really good. She brought me some behavioral papers to see if that would help me. My attending psychiatrist is wonderful. He is going to look up my book. I really like working with him. He is going to increase the zoloft to 100 mg over the weekend. He is the rounding doc for the weekend so I am glad.

I really hope to be out of here by Tuesday. I want to have a session with my therapist next week. I emailed my psychiatrist for an appointment but haven’t heard back from her. I just hope it doesn’t hold up discharge. Otherwise I will make up a date and time.

I am so fucking glad my neurologist’s office called to make an appointment. I had problems getting through so emailed them to call me. It isn’t until July but that is ok. Gives me time to work out my depression and grief.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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