Sleepy day on the unit

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I must have slept for two hours before I woke up in pain. So I had to ask the nurse for one pill to calm my screaming ankle. It took a while to get back to sleep.

The crier on the floor was quiet so I listened to some music quietly as I didn’t have my headphones. I fell asleep for another two hours and I have been up since.

I met with social worker and doc separately. The social worker said she would work on partial hospitals but I really have no interest in them. I think I got a good team finally that is willing to work with me rather than give me empty promises.

The doc is willing to increase the zoloft to 100. I am to go up tonight and watch for manic symptoms. I never has manic symptoms with zoloft. I told him I want to go up to 100 mg as he was thinking 3 times what I take now. I just don’t want to get sick.

I texted my therapist about writing about the last two hours of my father’s life. She said it might be good to work on it while I’m here. Even the doc I saw said it could be helpful. So after I took my nap, I started working on it. I got to where we were waiting for the elevator at the nursing home then stopped.

This isn’t going to be an easy paper/essay to write. I told my contact person I was going to start writing it just in case I become unglued. I know I don’t have to write this. But I’m hoping that if it’s on paper it won’t bother me so much. It’s like a movie that keeps playing in my head.

I emailed my psychiatrist to let her know who my team was. I didn’t say anything else other than I was still depressed. It really sucks battling depression for so long all the while losing a parent. He might not have been the best, but he was my father.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sleepy day on the unit

  1. Glad you’re safe and able to post! And that you’re confident in your team. That makes so much difference!

    Antidepressants never helped my Bipolar depression. Lithium and lamictal have been my cocktail for years. I was taking Seroquel, which helped with the ultradian cycling, but I developed extrapyramidal symptoms and had to stop it.

    Everybody’s different. I hope you get your cocktail figured out in this hosp, so you don’t have to go in again!

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