inhuman being

I have been sleeping most of the day. My heart is still filled with a deep sadness that never goes away. And the pain that I feel is tremendous. I can barely move. I have no appetite. I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do. I know I should make some coffee and some breakfast, maybe having the slice of pizza I saved last night but I just can’t think about food. I just want to sleep. I feel fine physically. But I don’t feel fine mentally. Mentally I feel like someone is squishing my heart like a sponge. I can barely breathe because there is a weight on my chest. I think about killing myself but the question is where? Where do I take my life? I don’t have a car and I don’t have a place that I can jump off. I’m stuck being in this world living like an inhuman being.