It’s hailing

It’s Hailing

For the first time in my adult life, I have seen what hail looks like. It’s cool! It’s coming down in pebbles but it is turning to rain. I just beat the storm by about 10 minutes! I am glad the bus was early today. My foot is hurting but I think it’s because it is swollen. Once it has time to acclimate to being without my shoe, I think it will be fine. If not, I will take a pain med. Both feet are burning but I think that is because I had to go up and down the stairs multiple times to close windows in both my house and my sister’s. Just call me the Window Closer!

My mother said that we are having asparagus and eggs for dinner. I am surprised because we are running low on eggs. She is one to stock up on them but they haven’t been on sale in a long time. It kind of stinks because I do like having eggs in the morning. Or a boiled egg for supper.

I am still getting used to my new eyeglasses. They are stronger than my previous prescription so I think it’s going to take some time to get used to. I thought I would adjust quickly but that isn’t the case. I went to Starbucks today and wore them while I was writing in my journal. My eyes felt really tired after I wore them. So I have been wearing them in spurts until I get used to them.

Had therapy today. She read the “Hate” blog. She said it was the “perfect” transference paper that she ever read. I didn’t think that highly of it because it took so long to write. I must have worked on it for at least two hours, if not more, just to get it to 500 words. I had thrown in how my day was and the anxiety about my pain meds. You take that out and it’s less than 300 words. It is crap. But she never criticizes me. I wish she would sometimes. I re-read it and it was a well written article. I didn’t like the middle parts like I described but the whole of the article was good. What bothers me is that a friend had read it and just gave it a sad face. I have no idea what that means. I don’t know if she found the article sad, that she didn’t like it, or whatever else she thought of it. I hate when people do that. You are always left wondering what the hell is wrong with the article. We talked about the “going with the flow” part. She doesn’t want me to do this but I already am going with it so I don’t know how to stop it. I can’t get angry or feel hate on command. I just keep what I am feeling inside or express it on this blog. Otherwise I have no where else to put them. And if I don’t have a place to put my feelings, the more suicidal I become.

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