it’s 0500

It’s 0500

I woke up at 0500 today and it pissed me off. I have a hangover from the gabapentin and I will be making coffee shortly. I won’t be going to my “happy” place for coffee because I am making it at home. Starbucks still has the Sertraozinho coffee. They have plenty of bags. I might pick up another one when I get paid. I love this coffee because it’s like drinking a milk chocolate bar more than coffee. I could get it now but then my Starbucks funds will be depleted and I will be without funds until my next pay period in two weeks.

I didn’t dream. Usually when I take the Gabapentin, I don’t reach REM sleep, which is probably why I get a hangover. I feel really fuzzy. And I just took a small dose. I am glad I didn’t take two pills. The pain in my ankle is decreased but still there. I could take another dose and be a zombie all day but it’s my sister’s party tonight and I want to be somewhat conscious.

Last night before falling asleep, I was trying to read American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I must have gone through a few pages before I conked out. I hate when I leave in the middle of a chapter without a separation, but I had no choice. I just hope I remember where I left off. It was getting weird, not to say the book itself isn’t weird. I kind of wish I had the book rather than the kindle version. But the Kindle version is the one where he made adjustments and added a few words to it. So this version is longer than the book. It’s the tenth anniversary of the book.

Today is my Godfather’s birthday. He would have been 88 today. He died a few years ago. I can never remember the year. He died suddenly and in February. That is all that I remember. It really shocked his wife as he died in her arms. She was a wreck. Hell I would be too if that happened to me. I think I am going to call her sometime today to see how things are going. I haven’t talked to her since last year, I think. He was an important person in my life, always giving advice and telling stories. He suffered from Alzheimer’s so every time I talked with him, I had to tell him who I was and what I was doing as he never remembered. It was tough talking with him when he got to this stage.

Think I am going to make breakfast when I make the coffee. I am getting hungry. I haven’t had my egg sandwich in a while. I think I will make that. I really want pancakes but that is too much trouble. I make them from scratch, same with my oatmeal pancakes. The funny thing is the original pancakes and the oatmeal ones are similar. Only difference is that I use ½ cup of oatmeal instead of a cup of flour.

My mother was talking about my birthday plans. I told her I just want my immediate family with me. When I told my sisters this, they didn’t like the idea. My youngest sister is doing renovations in her kitchen and we usually have a party at her house because it is bigger than my other sister’s house. I really would like my father’s side cousins to be there but I understand that there will be no space. It’s all up in the air right now. Preferably, I rather not have a big party at all. I rather not celebrate. I am so depressed about my birthday it’s not funny. I hate it. And the fact that I am turning 40 just kills me. I never thought I would live this long. I have decided two things though. My sisters and I will be going out to eat to John Brewers and I want my cake to be a brownie with cool whip and cherries on top. I bought the mix so my mother doesn’t have to buy it. She just has to get the cool whip. It’s in a month so I don’t know how long cool whip stays for so I’ll have her buy it when it’s closer to my birthday. I wish I could see my therapist that day. But her schedule is kind of messed up because her kid gets out of school early so she is not going to be in the office the time of our appointment. It will be the first birthday that we aren’t celebrating together. If I get the Zipcar, I will see her but that is if I get accepted. I will know in a couple of weeks.

I am going to try and work on my story today. I played around with the new font that I want and got my book up to 50 pages. I just hope when I copy and paste it in the format thingy the font stays. I don’t know if you have to pay extra for it or not. When I had my first book it did copy over the Courier New font so I am hoping it will do that same with the Comic Sans. Formatting is going to be a bitch, it always is. I just hope I don’t have to revert to text and then doc to get this in the template that Amazon uses. It will suck so much. Like it did with my first book.

Other than that, I plan on doing nothing else. I am hoping to have an easy day and I hope my sister’s party goes well tonight. I made her a homemade card and I hope that she likes it.

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