Author: Midnight Demon

Brain fog

I woke up around 3 with a headache. I stayed up for about an hour and then went back to sleep, only to continue to wake up to headaches throughout the rest of my sleep. I woke up and my head felt all fuzzy. I didn’t know if I was going to get a migraine or not but I took some meds in case. I then went and had coffee. I had two cups and still felt like shit. I tried listening to music but it hurt my head so I had to stop. It was wicked bright out and that hurt. I guess I am in sensory overload right now. I hate the brain fog. It has to be worse than being in pain. What is worse is that there is nothing that can be done about it. I am worried that this might interfere with my college studies.

I wanted to write about my therapy session yesterday but I couldn’t really focus after session. I jotted down what she wanted me to work on before next session and when I read it today, it was cryptic. I know she wanted to me to come up with other skills than what I am using but I have no idea what I meant by what I wrote. I also need to look up other skills on the DBT or CBT sites. I told her that my coping skills varies by what I need at the moment. I also told her that when she catches me trying to change the subject when a particular topic gets uncomfortable, I shut down. She wants me to find grounding stuff but I really haven’t found anything that helps me to ground when I am upset. She doesn’t want me to dissociate which I guess I do when I shut down, but it is hard staying in the moment when it is happening. I often feel like she scolds me, though she doesn’t, I guess. I don’t know.

I made sweet potatoes. They needed to be made before they went bad. I just had like half of what I made. They were so yummy. I didn’t do anything that I needed to do which was to change my bedding and do the laundry. I managed a shower last night. It fucking exhausted me. I ended up watching the new Indiana Jones movie and then went to bed. I took my meds late because I was watching the movie and forgot to take them. It was a good movie. I had bought all the films but I can’t remember if they were VHS or DVDs. I can watch it all on Disney+ so I don’t have to worry about it.

I wanted to go out to get my meds but I feel really crappy. Not even the idea of going to Starbucks is helping to motivate me to get dressed to go out so I will go tomorrow. Hope the fog is gone by then.