a little about politics and suicide attempts

6-Sept-12

I write the date as the European way because I think it is much better than the “American” way.  I have been battling a migraine for the past few hours and it finally has let up. I am wondering what to write in this blog so I’ll just run through my activities for the day. I picked up my niece from school and then watch iCarly and Spongebob. I have to say that these shows have grown on me but more so because I think Sam is a hot shit and wicked funny. Spongebob is just too stupid to be funny but I watch it anyways because it makes me laugh sometimes at the stupidity of it all.

I then began a synopsis of the long ass article of escape from self by Baumeister. I will be talking about this for the next few blogs as it is important for me to vent out. He writes about suicide attempts and the need to escape and I agree with his idea of the escape theory. High expectations of self that lead to either minor or major failures will always lead to suicide attempt or worse completed suicide. There is no real predictive model for this. The high functioning adults will not seek help because they feel it is beneath them or they just think they are too smart to be In therapy.

What gets me with this article is that it is right on the money in every respect that I have always felt when feeling suicidal. I want to escape from myself because I just feel like a failure. My deconstructed self has no where else to go but to oblivion.

Writing this out has helped me understand more about what he is saying and putting it in layman’s terms will help others I am sure of it. I know it will boost my attempt paper once I ever go back to it.

After writing and watching idiotic shows, I read some of the American revolution. This book is taking me forever and I don’t think that George Washington is ever going to make an appearance in this book though the author seems to think so. We are at the battle of Breed’s Hill (though historians have called it Bunker Hill, which is inaccurate apparently) in Charlestown and Howe has just ordered another assault on the rebels. I think it is still hysterical that the English people think this was all just a rebellion and the American people were found on radicalism.  Wish I could say the same today but I don’t know what American stands for anymore. It has suffered more with the loss of economy and now the presidential election has two morons worse than the other. It is difficult to see who is going to win but if Congress is republican, most likely we will get a republican president because after all congress does run this country not the president as much as he likes to think he does. If calling for the budget is any indication, course after my cousin’s email about the falsehoods of the electoral commercials, I am not so sure which way to vote now. DO I want change or do I want things to be the same for the next four years,…I am not a political person so I may have no idea what I am talking about and I am ok with that. If you are not then I suggest you leave the blog but then this isn’t about politics. It’s just that all the word on twitter tonight was the DNC and so I had to write a little about this because it’s on my mind. I am worried about where my country is headed. I don’t know what will happen I just know I am fearful of what will happen and I guess that is where my suicidal feelings come in. if I don’t like the way the election pans out I can always kill myself because it is my right as a human being and no one can tell me otherwise. As long as America is a free country, I think that is my belief that if I don’t like who is elected after I voted for someone, I think it is my right to die because I know the next four years will be hell and I’m not going to like it so why should I live through it??

to escape or not to

5-9-12
Been reading Baumeister’s (1990) Suicide as escape from self. A very interesting read about how suicide is really an escape. My favorite line so far in this article is “an unsuccessful attempt may achieve the goal of escape almost as well as completed suicide, at least in the short run and in the suicidally deconstructed state, the short run is all that matters (p90).

It is my belief that by me attempting suicide I will “escape” and therefore may no longer be suicidal anymore. Now if I succeed and no longer cease to exist on the earthly level, I will be happy. If I fail on my attempt, at least then I will know that  I truly tried to escape from my pain, failed but yet I am destined to go on living. Yes it will be a humiliating experience but I think that if I just try to end my life, something good will come out of it. I need the release that unconsciousness brings. But my methods have changed. They are more lethal with less room for rescue and saving.  Should I have no intervention with in the first few moments of the act, I will surely die. The brain cannot survive long without oxygen. And whether I hang myself or put a bag over my head, this will ultimately result in death.

Escape has been what I long for. I cannot fathom living with these feelings of despair any more. I have tried to live and it hurts too much to continue going on day after day suffering the way I do. I just want to be able to sleep and NEVER wake up. I don’t think that is a bad thing to have happen. I know my friends and family will miss me but would they still want me suffering every day knowing that I am in pain or would they want me to be in a better place where I have no suffering?  Death is final. No one has come back from the dead and have said that it was terrible or good. We will never know until our time comes and I have known for some time that my time has come and gone and I just keep living just to keep people happy other than myself. This is not a life worth living when you are just here to keep those around you happy.  It is exhausting work. I will be trying out one of my methods soon. I just need to gather the courage to do it and soon. I can’t take living to my next birthday. I am done trying to live when I have nothing to live for…
Finally finished Baumeister’s escape from self. “In many cases a suicide attempt may effectively stop one’s life and remove one from aversive circumstances, at least temporarily”. Escape theory is right on the money as to why I want to kill myself, something I’ve known for quite some time but this article backs me up about it. Bozo doesn’t want me to attempt but if it provides me with the removal of my negative attributes (I.e., loss of my jobs, self loathing, guilt, etc) why not go for it?!? To not be is what I strive for…obliviation of consciousness….

Ramblings 2

For the past few days I have been feeling intensely suicidal at times and not sure why that is. The burden of escape presses upon me and I wish that by wishing I would cease to exist. I just feel that I have nothing to live for as my psychache is peaking. I was doing good for a while, being content but now it seems I am going back into the abyss again.  I have been trying in vain to find the escape article but I just cannot find it. I might have tossed it in the recycle bin or something. The reason I want to read this article is just so that I have something to read that is academic.
I have been reading Hamilton’s biography and a book on the American revolution but none of these books hold my attention for long. The Hamilton book is very dense. It took me a long time just to get to where I am now, about 50 pgs into it. Hamilton lead an extreme hard early life to become one of the founding is quite remarkable. It fills me with sadness knowing I will never be at high ranks. I just plug along being an outcast. I have very few friends I keep in regular contact with. I am a loner to say the least.
I struggle with wanting to take my life on a daily basis. I never know what day it will be that I take my life. Some people hope that I won’t but I can’t stand living in misery all the time. I am a negative person and always see the glass half empty but I have nothing to refill the glass with. I am a sorry human being who doesn’t deserve to live. Why I am so wretched I know not why. I am nothing and always will be one. People say life is what you make it but I hardly have the strength to get out of bed some days. I hardly can take in a breathe when I need to.

is suicide caused by psychological pain

Since 1949, Edwin Shneidman has done extensive research in the field of suicidology.  He began his research by looking at suicide notes in the coroner’s office in Los Angeles (Shneidman, 1996).  During his intensive research, he came up with the term, “psychache” to refer to the mental pain, which, when intense, makes life so horrible and horrendous, that the sufferer can only think about suicide as the only option out of his/her misery.

Psychache can be defined as “hurt, anguish, soreness, aching, psychological pain in the psyche, the mind (Shneidman, 1996).”  Risk factors associated with suicide are only relevant as far as they can relate to psychache (Shneidman, 1993, 2005).  Dr. Shneidman believes that the true cause of anyone’s thoughts of killing themselves derive from this “psychache.”

During my research for this paper, I concluded that literature concerning the cause for individuals to resort to suicide is sadly lacking.  Most of the assessment scales for determining suicide risk focus on basically, two concepts as proposed by Rosenberg  (1999), action based and affective based interventions. 

Action-based interventions can include items such as a “no suicide” contract, increase sessions or phone check-ins, and, if appropriate, hospitalization. 

Affective based interventions focus on feeling and thoughts that are behind the suicidal ideation. 

Attempts have been made by several researchers for implementing a framework for something close to a “standard” for treatment care that is not determined by litigation (Brown, Jones, Betts, & Wu, 2003; Joiner & Rudd, 2000; Joiner, Walker, Rudd, & Jobes, 1999; Kral & Sakinofsky, 1994; Rosenberg, 1999; Rudd, 1998; Rudd, Joiner, Jobes, & King, 1999; Sommers-Flanagan, Rothman, & Schenkler, 2000; Walker, Joiner, & Rudd, 2001).  Discussion of litigation is not the objective of this paper, so if the reader is interested, Brown et al (2003) would be the work to which one is referred.

The frameworks provided by these researchers have provided many useful scales in determining risk and lethality of suicide, but do not include the assessment of psychological pain.  In Range and Knott’s (1997) analysis of twenty assessment instruments, not one of the twenty examined includes an assessment of psychological pain.  One reason for this is the subjectivity on the individual’s emotions, thoughts, mental state, and experience (Kral & Sakinofsky, 1994).  According to Kral and Sakinofsky (1994), suicidologists are in general agreement that “predicting suicide for a given individual is that, like many human states, the suicidal state has a temporal, fluctuating dimension”.  They propose that the evaluation of psychache experience, the psychological state of the suicidal person, is the key to accurate risk assessment.

Psychache is subjective.  A person is not going to feel the exactly the same way for any length of time.  However, if the level of perturbation (mental anguish) increases in intensity for too long, the individual is going to feel a need to escape from the anguish and despair by any means necessary, including by not existing any more.  If suicide is seen as the only option, the only form of escape, lethality of a suicide attempt is high risk.  Kral and Sakinofsky (1994) have stated that treatment of perturbation will reduce lethality and treatment of lethality ideation will reduce perturbation as these two states can feed off one another (Kral & Sakinofsky, 1994). 

A scale to the assessment of suicide risk would be to have a scale of the person’s needs and current psychological pain.  Dr. Shneidman believes, as do I, that when psychache is intense, perturbation is intolerable, and one or more psychological needs are thwarted or blocked, suicide is seen as the only option of relieving the psychache (Shneidman, 1999).  He has based these needs on described by Henry Murray’s (1938) Explorations in Personality. Shneidman has developed 20 psychological needs.  These needs are weighted and the total sum is 100 (see table 1 for an example).

Table 1

 

Murray Need Form

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_______________________________________________________________________
Subject: ____________________Sex: _______Age: ______Rater:________Date:_______

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_______________________________________________________________________

_____   ABATEMENT          The need to submit passively; to belittle oneself.

_____  ACHIEVEMENT      To accomplish something difficult; to overcome.

_____  AFFILIATION         To adhere to a friend or group; to affiliate.

_____  AGGRESSION         To overcome opposition forcefully; fight, attack.

_____  AUTONOMY           To be independent and free; to shake off restraint.

_____  COUNTERACTION                       To make up for loss by retrieving; get even

_____  DEFENDANCE        To vindicate the self against criticism or blame

_____  DEFERENCE           To admire and support, praise emulate a superior

_____  DOMINANCE          To control, influence, and direct others; dominate

_____  EXHIBITION           To excite, fascinate, amuse, entertain others

_____  HARMAVOIDANCE          To avoid pain, injury, illness, and death.

_____  INVIOLACY                        To protect the self and one’s psychological space.

_____  NURTURANCE       To feed, help console, protect, nurture another.

_____  ORDER                     To achieve organization and order among things and ideas

_____  PLAY                                    To act for fun; to seek pleasure for its own sake.

_____  REJECTION             To exclude, banish, jilt, or expel another person.

_____  SENTIENCE             To seek sensuous, creature-comfort experience.

_____  SHAME-AVOIDANCE       To avoid humiliation and embarrassment

_____  SUCCORANCE       To have one’s needs gratified; to be loved

_____  UNDERSTANDING                        To know answers; to know the hows and whys.

100

(Shneidman, 1999; used with permission)
References:

 

Brown, G. S., Jones, E. R., Betts, E., & Wu, J. (2003). Improving suicide risk assessment in a managed care environment. Crisis, 24(2), 49-55.

Joiner, T. E., & Rudd, M. D. (2000). Intensity and duration of suicidal crises vary as a function of previous suicide attempts and negative life events. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 68(5), 909-916.

Joiner, T. E., Walker, R. L., Rudd, M. D., & Jobes, D. A. (1999). Scientizing and routinizing the assessment of suicidality in outpatient practice. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(5), 447-453.

Kral, M. J., & Sakinofsky, I. (1994). Clinical model for suicide risk assessment. Death Studies, 18, 311-326.

Murray, H. A. (1938). Explorations in personality. New York: Oxford University Press.

Range, L. M., & Knott, E. C. (1997). Twenty suicide assessment instruments: Evaluation and recommendations. Death Studies, 21(1), 25-58.

Rosenberg, J. I. (1999). Suicide prevention: An integrated training model using affective and action-based interventions. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(1), 83-87.

Rudd, M. D. (1998). An integrative conceptual and organizational framework for treating suicidal behavior. Psychotherapy, 35(3), 346-360.

Rudd, M. D., Joiner, T. E., Jobes, D. A., & King, C. A. (1999). The outpatient treatment of suicidality: An integration of science and recognition of its limitations. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(5), 437-446.

Shneidman, E. (1996). The suicidal mind: Oxford University Press.

Shneidman, E. S. (1993). Commentary: Suicide as psychache. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 181, 147-149.

Shneidman, E. S. (1996). Suicide as psychache.New York and London: New York University Press.

Shneidman, E. S. (1999). The psychological pain assessment scale. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 29(4), 287-294.

Shneidman, E. S. (2005). How I read. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 35(2), 117-120.

Sommers-Flanagan, J., Rothman, M., & Schenkler, R. (2000). Training psychologists to become competent suicide assessment interviewers: Commentary on Rosenberg’s(1999) suicide prevention. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 31(1), 99-100.

Walker, R. L., Joiner, T. E., & Rudd, M. D. (2001). The course of post-crisis suicidal symptoms: How and for whom is suicide “cathartic”? Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 31(2), 144-152.

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