Random 245

Random 245

I am will be done with the new blog post on CAMS hopefully tomorrow. I am brain dead today for some reason and can’t motivate myself to write up the last page of notes I took. It is stirring more ideas about what to write about than what is actually in the notes, which is a good thing, but is distracting as all hell! I am thinking about writing a new post about the reasons for living and reasons for dying article that I am quoting. So many ideas about suicide risk assessments.

I did too many stair climbing today. My ankle/foot is killing me profoundly. I got the mail a few minutes ago and that caused the throbbing to increase. I would insert a photo of where it hurts but I haven’t been able to find one. Monday I have physical therapy so that should be fun. I will get it all nice and calmed down by then only to aggravate it some more. I really don’t think PT is going to help me. But I will give it one more try before saying nay. I think I might have to ice my ankle though. I see swelling forming .

I haven’t gone out today at all. It was snowing all morning. I say we got about ¾ of an inch. It is warmer by at least ten degrees today. I posted to my FB page that we should go to the beach as it was a balmy 24 degrees.

My mood still sucks, though I haven’t thought about killing myself today. I still feel like what I am doing is no good. But I got a few likes from my last post and that made me feel a little better. I shared Shneidman’s commonalities of suicide. It is an important piece of work. But anything by Shneidman is important to me. I don’t know if others think the same way. David Jobes probably does.

I don’t now why my mood has plummeted. I might have to increase the remeron. But I think I will wait until my pdoc is back in the office. I still don’t know when that will be though. I have inquired several times now and have gotten no response. I guess I just have to wait until she lets me know when she is back in the office. If I don’t hear from her in the next two weeks, or if my mood worsens, I will email her and ask for the increase in remeron. I am on a low dose and it might have lost its effectiveness. I don’t want to stop taking it as that could be disastrous. I really don’t want to end up back in the hospital.

any thoughts?

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