Sunday Blog 7

I woke up really early this morning from a weird dream. When I woke up, I was very sweaty. I stay up for a little bit before going back to sleep. I really didn’t sleep with the blankets on as it was still warm in my room. I had another weird dream and when I woke up, that was it. I was up. My sister was helping my mother clean the kitchen as it has been a while since everything was dusted. The smell of the cleaning product they were using didn’t agree with my nose so I stayed up in my room till they finished. I really wanted coffee but my sister was cleaning the stove as well so I couldn’t use it just yet. I hated waiting to use an appliance in my own home.

I have been in a grumpy mood since getting up. I don’t know why I was grumpy other than I wanted coffee and couldn’t have it just then. I went on Twitter and they were having a suicide summit talk. Things got really interesting when I saw that Jobes was one of the speakers. I think I retweeted all the tweets that had his presentation. He was talking about CAMS and other treatments, specifically DBT and something called CBT-SP as an evidence based practice in the prevention of suicide. I don’t know if he has published this stuff yet or if its in press. I will have to do a pubmed search to find out. Of course, the problem is getting the articles afterwards, especially if they are not available for free.

I miss doing suicide research. Course, I only follow Jobes because I love CAMS and think it is easier to learn than CBT and DBT. The problem is changing the clinician’s attitude toward suicide so they can practice these evidence based treatments without resorting to the hospital all the time.

I am undecided if I am going to watch the Pats game today or just listen via Twitter. I really want to take a nap as I am getting sleepy. I haven’t eaten much today, just a bowl of cereal and a glass of Ovaltine. I wish I put more Ovaltine in it because I was looking for a chocolate malt kick and didn’t quite get it. Maybe I will have that for my supper. I don’t have much of an appetite today because I am so down. I really need to clear my bed off so I can change the damn sheets but I have no energy or motivation to do so. Every thing today just feels so slow. I just got a notification that my prescriptions are ready at Walgreens. I really need to pick up my blood pressure medication as I will run out soon and because tomorrow is a holiday, I don’t think they will be open. I really don’t want to get dressed but I can’t leave the house in my PJs either. I am not one of those people that can do that. I have to wear real clothes to go out, even if it’s sweatpants. I also want to get the sweet and salty Combos snack. Might as well have some junk food if I watch the game.

I swear waking up at 0400 did me in today. I should have stayed up rather than go back to sleep. And then I get shit for sleeping late. I swear my family thinks all I do is sleep when I am in my room. I wish that were true but it isn’t. I am 99% on my laptop and the 1% is probably reading a book or journaling. I usually don’t go to bed until after 2000. I might take a nap around six but I try not to because then I might be up till midnight or later.

any thoughts?

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