Happy New Year 2016

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Happy New Year 2016

Happy new year to my blog readers. I don’t feel particularly happy. Damn depression is just awful. Taylor Swift came out with a new video and I wanted to share it because I think it’s one of her best videos yet.

Someone read a blog that I wrote about stigma and ice cream. I think I am going to include it in my book even though it’s less than 500 words. There’s an important message in the blog and I think it will be cool to write it in my book. That is one page down. Another 148 to go.

I wanted to be asleep by midnight but that didn’t happen. I was catching the scores of the Bama game. They killed the Spartans 38-0 and will advance to the National Championship game. I was hoping OSU would be playing that game but it wasn’t in the cards. OSU will be playing today at 1300. I can’t wait to watch the game. I have been looking forward to this game for a month now.
I had a cup of chamomile tea to try and ease my worries that I have about a relationship that I need to end. It’s not really a relationship, just a friendship that I don’t feel comfortable with any more. I wish my therapist were here so that I could talk to her about it. I also have been listening to Mary Chapin as she soothes me. Her voice is so calming.

I have been feeling really shitty still. My leg isn’t any better going down stairs and I am very worried about what they will find on the MRI. I am also worried about who will take care of me now that my PCP is gone. I am fearful that I just will be pushed aside or not taken seriously. I have to make an appointment with the new doc so that at least we know each other. I will have to do that on Monday. I am just afraid that I will have to wait a long time to see her. I just had a physical with my old PCP so I can’t even see her for that. I don’t know what I will see her for. Maybe I will just say a hi visit so she can know me? If I want her to fill in some paperwork that I will be needing, she has to know me. I really am mad at my old PCP for leaving.

I know it’s late but I feel like having a cheeseburger. I didn’t have dinner, well I did. I had a bowl of cereal. But that was hours ago. It’s almost 0100. I should be sleeping instead of having a burger. I got to learn self-control. I am really surprised my night meds haven’t knocked me out. I really hate that I am still awake because I know that I won’t fall asleep until after 0200. Think I will read Far From The Tree. I was hoping to finish that book by the end of the week but the damn depression ruined those plans for me. I hate when the depression affects my ability to read.

Hope all of you had a safe and Happy new year.

4 thoughts on “Happy New Year 2016”

  3. I’m so sorry you’re depressed. That’s living hell. Good that you’re finding things that interest you.

    As far as your new PCP, it’s good to make an appointment ASAP “to establish” (in the jargon) which means to establish a doctor-patient relationship. That way you get a “New Patient” time slot in which you have a few extra minutes of face to face time. That way you’re not a stranger in case you need an urgent appt or something called in. She will appreciate getting to know you a bit, because you’re not the standard well person. Does that make sense?

    Do you ever have mixed episodes? Like really depressed but hungry and can’t sleep, night time meds don’t knock you out? I have them more often than I’d like. I would like never to have them.

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any thoughts?