Ramblings 79

I took a much needed nap after dinner and now I can’t go back to sleep just yet. I took just one of my mood stabilizer pills rather than two tonight. When I woke up from my nap I had to pee really bad and then I saw a spider in the bathroom going round and round in circles. The spider has been in there for a couple of weeks now. I just have let it be because they eat bugs not people. But tonight he was at a place where I could get him, until he left the confines of the shower and hid in the curtain. I quickly did my business and washed my hands to flee the room. My confidence in getting him was nil. I hate bugs. And will usually kill them some how but spiders. I don’t like them and as long as they let me be, I will let them be.

My nose has still been stuffy and congested. My nostrils are irritated from blowing my nose so much and now I am getting a zit underneath my nose. I can’t pop it yet because it hasn’t come to a head, but man, is it painful. I think getting a zit in that area has to be the most painful to get. And you would think I wouldn’t get one now that I am past my thirties, but nope. I still get the stupid zits. So annoying.

I don’t know why I am so congested. It’s very annoying as this has been going on the last several months. I don’t know if it’s allergies or due to the heat. When the heat isn’t on, I breath better so that is one factor. Also if I am not in my room for long periods, my nose clears up, sometimes. But I will still have a runny nose. The discharge is clear so I don’t think I have an infection of some sort. I am just annoyed that I can’t breath at times and have to use Afrin to clear up the passageways. I know that you aren’t supposed to use it for more than 3 days but the congestion is just so bad that I can’t breathe unless I use it. I hate breathing out of my mouth. I only use it once a day.

I really am not looking forward to another day of dealing with my fucking asshole father. Just two more appointments and then I can go back to the weekly visits where I just do his meds. It’s supposed to snow again tomorrow, which sucks. I don’t know how bad it’s supposed to be. My Twitter feed is all about the stupid NH primary. I haven’t seen the weather report.

I am making progress in the book I am reading about writing. I can’t say it’s been helpful but it has made me think of my writing in different terms. I just wish I could get the ball rolling with the book I am writing to put this in good use. I could edit some more of what I have written so far but I hate editing. I can never decide what to cut and what to keep.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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