Fridge fiasco averted
My mother ordered another fridge and again the movers found excuses not to bring it up. My mother cried so they brought it up the back way. We finally have a new fridge and it is working.
I haven’t had much appetite today. I forced myself to eat ¾ of a Stouffer’s French bread pizza. I couldn’t finish it. My mother had a hypoglycemic reaction so I had to lug all of the freezer and fridge stuff into the new fridge. I am exhausted. I was already exhausted from the depression and having crapped my pants when I woke up this afternoon. I had to delay therapy so I could get cleaned up. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I haven’t had a crap episode in a really long time. Just last week I was priding myself on making it to the bathroom on time with loose stool. Didn’t happen today with hard stool. I hate CES.
Therapist wanted to just talk about anger today. I was too depressed to talk about it. At one point I just let her talk and let her know it. I wasn’t listening to the bullshit. It’s the “I’m depressed because the anger I have for others is turned on me”. That is what I heard anyways. I was like is this my therapist?? There was more but I don’t remember it and I didn’t write it down after session because I was too fucking tired. She offered to call my psychiatrist to see up an appointment. I told her I am too frustrated to continue with the emails and such. She told me to put that in the email. I told her I couldn’t do it. I don’t want to piss her off. Besides, I have my blog to vent to about the aggravation. And occasionally, I will send it to my psychiatrist.
I’m supposed to babysit for an hour or so. I just want to go back to bed and lie down. Today is just a crap of a day. My mother had the audacity to tell me I haven’t done anything today so I can work. That really pissed me off and I said something to her. She didn’t respond. Probably because she didn’t hear me but still I said it.
I talked with my father. He has a 0900 appointment that he thinks is at 10. So what ever. He still isn’t talking to me. I could care less. I will then go over his house and fix his pills for the week. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
I still feel kind of dizzy today, but that could be because I haven’t eaten much. I also haven’t had too many fluids. I just am in an I don’t care mood today. Even though I had pizza my stomach is hurting. But I have no desire for food. I need to take a shower today but don’t feel like it. I probably will before bed, if I have the energy. All the moving of the food back and forth to the fridge aggravated my foot so will have to see how it is later.