therapy was boring

Therapy was boring

I had therapy today. She talked more than I did, which I guess was fine as I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I was kind of sleepy and couldn’t get myself motivated. I didn’t bring up the stuff about pursuing CBT because I didn’t want to give false hope. This is kind of a one shot deal. Either it works or it doesn’t. I am not saying it will cure me but if it helps me cope a little better than what I am doing now, then it will be worth it.

My therapist and I talked about pain. She wanted me to take the stronger pain pills as they were providing me relief more than my regular pain pills. That is only because my pain has been more severe lately. She wanted me to bring this up the NP and I told her I tried but she wasn’t receptive to adjusting the medication. I guess I will have to wait until the new PCP comes in to talk about this stuff.

Then she kept going on and on about how I am living with this pain, like I have no clue. There was no talking to her today. She wants me to see her and I told her I would see her next week. She misses me. Little nut that she is. I told her if my check comes in next week, I would see her. I also told her that I wanted to get a burrito today. It didn’t happen. After session, I fell asleep. I really didn’t mean to, it just worked out that way. So no coffee or burrito today.

My hot water tank is still broken so we still don’t have hot water. I am getting pissed because I really want to take a shower. I might have to use my sister’s bathroom. I only fear using her shower because she has a bathtub and with my mobility issues, I sometimes can’t clear the side of the tub. Last time I took a shower there, I almost fell. Not something that I want to happen. I hate that we are dependent on my damn brother-in-law’s schedule to have things done. He takes forever to do things because he doesn’t prioritize what should be done first. I can’t stand him. I think fixing a hot water heater should come first than something else, especially if the tank is leaking. If I had the money, I would have hired a plumber already.

I can’t seem to get into a writing groove today. I really want to go back to sleep. I haven’t taken any pain meds today so I don’t understand why I am so sleepy.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to therapy was boring

  1. G. Collerone says:

    I know. It’s fixed now

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    that is sucky that you have no hot water. your brotherinlaw needs to get his ass in geer and fix that. its very important, men,sometimes they really don’t have their priorities straight. xxx

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