Agitation has ceased but now Sadness has crept in

Agitation has ceased but now Sadness has creeped in

I reluctantly had therapy today. She gave me the option to cancel as I had canceled before the 24 hour rule. I felt kind of like talking so I agreed that she could call me if she wanted to. We talk and I cried. I was overwhelmed with sadness most of session. She read my blog that I sent her last night and she understood a little bit about what I had gone through last night. She really liked how I wrote it.

I told her my date today as it is coming up soon and she is adamant about trying to keep me here. I told her I was sorry for causing her pain. That when she said that I can’t split “us” up. She is going to try and see if I can have a session tomorrow. She already scheduled a day for Monday. I think she thinks that more is better. I don’t know.

I didn’t sleep very well. I was up every couple of hours and then I gave up around 5. I paid some bills and ordered my stuff on Amazon. I am really tired. I wanted to get up before noon and make my dinner in the slow cooker. But that didn’t happen. I ended up making it after my therapy appointment. Now dinner is going to be a little later than planned. I hope the chicken cooks okay. There was a lot and the cooker is small. I hope it cooks all the way through.

I feel really sad. It was the first time in a long time that I really sobbed while on the phone with my therapist. I really didn’t know what I was crying for. I just was so miserably sad and it came out in tears. I still feel sad afterwards. I really just want to go to sleep.