making phone calls and being on hold

Making phone calls and being on hold

I got my new SIM card for my phones and put them in. Unfortunately, I am unable to install the new voicemail feature and it said to call a number. I did and was put on hold. I also called my service provider to take a line off my account and was put on hold. Catheter company called just as therapy was ending so when I returned the call I was on hold. Doesn’t anyone get this lucky when making phone calls? I wouldn’t mind but the catheter company had piano music that was so depressing. I could only bear it for so long and then I hung up to call again. Finally got through to someone at my cell provider and turns out all I needed to do was update the app. I was with the tech for just a minute after spending 20 on hold.

Today is my nephew’s birthday so we celebrated out in my backyard. I lasted a couple of hours before the heat got to me. I am so tired and because I was sitting, my ankle/foot is flared up. Going to be a while before it settles down before I am able to sleep. Veins are popping on my foot which isn’t a good sign. CRPS swells up really good. The Suicidal area on my ankle has flared up a few notches. My sister had me go downstairs to check on my mother. I wish I didn’t because now the pain is agony. Foot and ankle are screaming at me. And just like that I am in a suicidal spiral. The pain is causing me to feel so damn hopeless and I am trying to “ignore” it. I am trying to say it will pass and then I will be “fine”. But in this moment I wish I was dead. I just took my BT meds with Tylenol. Hopefully in an hour I will be feeling better.

I am listening to a song by Taylor Swift on repeat. I don’t know what it is about this song but I absolutely love it so much. The melody of the song just draws me in. As many times as I have heard this song I still do not know it word for word, yet. I am getting there with each repeat.