Category: depression

Writing and reading Friday

I felt ok enough to leave the house for a couple of hours. I went to Starbucks to have coffee and have lunch. I made a turkey wrap before leaving the house. It was a nice day to be out. I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription after I read a chapter. I wanted to read at least two but I was getting antsy and wanted to go home.

For some reason, my chest feels tight and I have some nerve pain going on. I just can’t seem to get the muscles in the middle of my chest to relax. I have moved my arms and tried stretching my trunk but nothing seems to help it. I feel tired now that I have been out. I want to make a burger on the grill again for dinner.

My pcp emailed me back today. I had asked the other day if I could donate blood after my recent blood work. My counts looked good to me and even though my iron studies looked a little better, I thought I was ok. She thinks I will be ok but wants me to take an iron supplement as my levels are still low to indicate anemia. I made an appointment for blood donation at the end of the month. I will be starting the iron again this weekend. I am to let her know if I get worsening constipation. I take senna every night so I am not worried.

Last night, a person I messaged about my book messaged back. We spent a good hour or so talking. She thought I was a trans woman as the group I got her name from is predominantly trans women. I corrected her and then she messaged saying that someone was looking for a trans man to talk about phalloplasty. I have no interest in this procedure. She did give me some ideas about what to write. She said she would look over what I had written so far and get back to me next week.

I was interested in finding more about queries as I know you need to “pitch” to publishing houses and the like. I went to the Grub Street site and they have an LGBTQ writers weekend coming up the end of October. I signed up for a few things that were free. I will sign up for a publishing thing when I get paid next. I hope it won’t be sold out by the time I get paid. I have no idea where in Boston it will be. I tried finding out but it doesn’t seem to list the location, unless I just can’t find it. I might call and find out. I know they moved from their Tremont Street location to somewhere in Back Bay I think. I am excited about this. Maybe I will meet some writing people that I can become friends with.

Migraine and a webinar

I managed to get up for my 10am appointment with my pcp. We talked about things and then I asked about blood levels. She ordered a T level as well as some iron studies. I plan on getting my bloods done tomorrow as the time is right for checking my T level. I also plan on getting my haircut again. I can’t stand it not being buzzed. I wish I had the energy to shave it like I used to.

I was bored after the appointment and had a good four hours to kill before the webinar with David Jobes. I had lunch and was on social media. I thought about reading but couldn’t bring myself to do it. The game was going on as they got rained out last night. I kept checking the score on my phone. Hunter Hayes posted his updated tour dates and he is coming to Boston. I think I am going to see him, if tickets aren’t outrageous. He is playing at a club near Boston University. I chatted with my friend who knows how much I love David Jobes. Then came webinar time.

It was so good. The webinar was about the third edition of Managing Suicide Risk. I will be posting a blog about it after I read it. There is some new information and the SSF (suicide status form) is in the fifth edition. He said he doesn’t expect it to change. They are working on an SSF for kids and teens. I thought that would be great. There are a lot of studies going on with CAMS, including one in Boston that is set to start sometime next month or within the next few months. After the webinar, I searched to get the pdf of the SSF 5. I had to sign in to get it. It is wonderful to have it as you can fill it in as you go. I love this tool so much.

After I found it, I got the biggest pressure in my head. I had to lie down for a bit. My head was going to explode. I took my migraine med. I waited for the pressure to ease up before I logged back on my laptop. It would boot up or unsleep or whatever so I did a hard restart. Damn thing lost my original blog so I had to write it over. I am not happy! I need to get a new laptop but I don’t have like $1500 to get it. It will take me a good while before I can save up that much. I just got to keep this one going long enough. It works, it is just slow. I had some problems with internet connection. I don’t know if it was because the laptop was doing updates or the internet was bad. I am connected to my nephew’s so maybe I need to switch to mine. I don’t know. It is going to rain this weekend so I probably will have migraines throughout. Just sucks.

I missed my appointment with my therapist yesterday. I slept through it. I can’t believe I did that. I rescheduled for 9 on Thursday which is kind of bad as I am not one to be awake and functioning at the hour. I barely made it through my pcp’s appointment today and it was at 10. Just hope I get enough sleep is all. I set various alarms so we’ll see.