Love, Hate, and Suicide

Love Hate and Suicide

Above is the link for my article. It has been a rough twenty-four hours. I have not slept very well because of the weird dreams I have been having over the stress of this publication. For the most part, my article was well received. There were a few dissenters that questioned my therapist’s methods and therapy with me, but they were dispelled by other commenters, which made me feel a little better. I had gotten so upset about the readers “attacking” my treaters, I felt like I made a huge mistake. My psychiatrist was impressed I made such an impression, which made me feel better. Also talking with my therapist after nearly 5 days was such comfort. I thought I was offending her and I wasn’t doing any of the sort. She laughed at some of the comments I was telling her and told me it didn’t matter. Everyone was entitled to their opinion. What really matters is what happens between us not the rest of the world, or something like that. Because I was so sleep deprived and a nervous wreck, I cried today while talking with her. I just got so overwhelmed with the comments. Some of them had them questioning whether my therapist was “real”, meaning did she have the proper credentials and training to be a therapist. It was just so hurtful, to me anyways. So I cried, got upset, and then laughed about it. Before my psychiatrist wrote back, I seriously thought about ending my life. But the feelings passed. Now I just hope I can get a good night’s sleep and I should be able to face the day tomorrow.

I had to go out today. I stayed in all weekend and was starting to feel cooped up. I went to Walgreens to try and get some Pringles and my prescription. I also gave the article to one of the pharm techs I told I write. She was flabbergasted. They didn’t have the Pringles but they did have my prescription ready. When I came home I showered and waited for the time for my therapist.

After therapy, I checked some more comments, my blog stats (which are blooming), and messages on FB. I then got dressed and waited for the bus. I didn’t have to wait as my cousin drove by and gave me a ride to the Square. I was hungry so had a celebratory burrito. Actually, I got a salad with all the burrito fillings. It was just as good but without the flour tortilla. I went to my Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice latte and a scone. I was stuffed at this point. My mother called while I was having my latte wanted to know if I would be home for supper. I said I would be home but I don’t think I would be eating. I was too tired to write so just decided to catch the next bus home, which meant catching the bus with the mentally disabled guy. He was not too bad today, though he did ask some young kids for money. I ignored him, though I couldn’t wait to get off the bus. He just makes me uncomfortable because he has a quick temper. Something doesn’t go his way and he flies off the handle. I am glad the bus wasn’t too crowded today.

any thoughts?

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