Up Freaking Early

Up freaking early

I woke up at freaking 0400 and can’t go back to sleep. I am hoping writing will help. My night has been awful as this is the third time I have awoken. I don’t understand why I can’t sleep. I had some breakfast. When it gets a little later, I plan on making oatmeal pancakes.

The pain in my thigh is not nerve pain. I took a Neurontin last night and when I woke up from my nap, it hurt more than before I took it. I don’t know what I am going to do. The resident that I saw said to wait until Friday afternoon to get a call from the neurosurgeon or my doctor’s office. I am kind of scared to see a neurosurgeon again. If the surgeon that I saw doesn’t take me on, there is another one that I could see. He is really nice and is a good doctor. He covered my doctor while he went on vacation after my second surgery. The only doctors I didn’t like were the residents. They were just mean as anything. I won’t go into it because it always gets me upset.

I feel like I should tell my cousins about this. But I don’t want to worry them. I don’t know if I will need surgery, yet. I hope that this isn’t the start of another CES episode. I am glad that I was seen before I saw my PCP because the holidays are coming up and there might be a problem with seeing someone in the office. I always seem to see someone right before their vacation starts.

I hope my mother gets up soon but it’s only 0645. She usually gets up between 0730 and 0800. I really want to make pancakes. I bought Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup just for my pancakes. My mother doesn’t like that kind of syrup. She rather have the store brand of original syrup. But it’s my money so there.

I found out that a friend of mine that I used to work with has an eating disorder. I never would have suspected it because she is a big girl. But I guess it could happen to anyone. She also has a binge eating disorder. That I could see because she loves to eat. She is the one that got me thinking about pancakes because that is her favorite breakfast food, or anytime food. There is no rule that you have to have pancakes in the morning. One time my mother made them for dinner. It was fun. They are easy to make. We make them from scratch, not a mix. I love the oatmeal recipe because it’s like the original pancake just with oats.

I had to take a pain med because my thigh is really hurting. I know this isn’t nerve pain. Nerve pain doesn’t hurt like this. I should have suggested that the doctor order the MRI and then we can see if I do need a neurosurgeon (N/S). The stupid resident was kind of like why did you see me when you should have see your N/S. I fucking hate when they try to pass the buck like this. It really pisses me off.