23-Dec-2015 Blog

I really hate when I start writing something and get the annoying bladder urges that tell me “go now or you’ll regret it”. Now I lost my train of thought and can’t go back to my writing. It was about the chronic pain guidelines the CDC is proposing. I will post the blog soon as my thoughts return to it.

I saw my therapist today. She gave me coffee from Hawaii, three different roasts. I hope that it is suitable for my French press or I won’t be able to use it. I hope it’s good as I never had Kona coffee before. I heard it is from my friends that visited there.

I am very hungry as I didn’t have any lunch and it’s almost dinner time. I was going to hit the McDonald’s on the way home but I wasn’t going that way due to traffic concerns. I took the highway home and I made it back with a half hour to spare. It’s good that I didn’t stop anywhere or I would be late returning the Zipcar and they don’t like that.

I am wicked congested today for some reason. I woke up with severe Post Nasal Drip that was gagging me.  I also have been coughing the stuff up. Not a good start to my morning. After I reserved the car, I left for Starbucks. Time seemed to fly by because the next thing I knew it was time to pick up the car. I hit every red light between my town and my therapist’s office. I was so annoyed. I listened to country music on the way there. Nothing new interested me and I so wanted to listen to Eric Church and the rest of my music. I was so in the mood to listen to Taylor’s Love Story song. I am playing it now. The radio played her song Back to December which I also like but not as much as Love Story. I have to remember to bring the auxiliary cable with me the next time I reserve a Zipcar.

Therapy went well. My therapist was happy to see me. She gave me a nice Birthday card. I like having them around on my bad days. I keep them in a safe place so I know where they are. Not the safe place that you forget, it’s usually on my night stand. I have to get a box for them and other sentimental things. Then I will really have a “Hope Box”.

I told her how my appointment with my neurosurgeon went. I didn’t tell her about the fusion part. It’s too early to tell and we won’t know anything until the MRI. I told her that I have to keep myself hydrated. She asked how I was fearing with the news. I think she was more anxious than I was. I just shrugged it off. I am already a nervous wreck just think about it and fear that if I talk about it, it will just get worse. So I didn’t talk.

I realized today that I forgot to email my psychiatrist so I did that. She responded with questions, some of them having to do with my writing. UGH, I can’t escape these two and my writing abilities. I don’t know if they realize the unwanted pressure it puts on me. It further makes me feel guilty when I don’t write. I don’t know why I feel that way. I guess it’s because, like I said before, I have so much time on my hands and I am not using it wisely. I try to have time aside for my blog but that is all. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t.