Still Waking Up Early

Still Waking Up Early

I realized I slept about seven hours or so, which is good for me. Trouble is that I woke up around 0500. I was in pain so I took my pain meds. My ankle felt like it was hanging by a thread. Weird sensation but that is what it felt like. I hate waking up in pain.

It’s too early to tell if the voices have stopped or not. I took some heavy dose meds last night, including 8 mg of trilafon and 20 mg of abilify. My psychiatrist is not going to like me taking so much abilify but I had to do something. I am worried the voices aren’t going to go away. I have to talk to my sister about me going in the hospital because someone will have to do my father’s meds. I hate going but I think it’s for the best at this point. I am not getting any better and I just keep getting more and more stressed out.

I’m going to go to the hospital today and get my report results. I am tired of waiting for my surgeon to call. Besides it will help take my mind off things by going out rather than just staying cooped up in my room all day. I’ll leave soon as I know the place is open. It’s still early so I can’t leave now. It’s dark out. I will take my laptop with me so I can view the results when I am at Starbucks. I really don’t want to take my laptop with me but sometimes it’s good. They usually give you a CD with the images on it. No one prints out films anymore. I can’t remember the last time I did get films.

It’s another cold day. I am going to have to dress warmly. I might just wear my long sleeved t-shirt and then my warm BoSox jacket. That jacket can really take the cold. I love it. I’ll also wear my beanie hat and I will stay warm. I hope there isn’t too much wind as that just brings the temp down more. I might take a shower today before I go out. It’s been a few days since my last shower. I used to be good at every other day but now I suck at it. It’s more like whenever I feel like it, which could be three days or more. Oh well. It’s not like I am going out every day anyways.

I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. When I go to Starbucks later, I will have a breakfast sandwich. It’s been a while since I had one. I might be hungry later anyways as I had the cereal around 0530.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Still Waking Up Early

  1. Usually egg and some kind of meat, bacon turkey bacon. They also have a veggie wrap

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    I never knew starbux did breakfast sandwiches, I dont think the one here does. Whats in them? I dont shower every day. I’m kinda like you if I am not going out I dont bother. If I have to go somewhere I will shower then. XX

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